Monday, March 31, 2014

It's been long enough! Answer time. :)

Wow, I feel like I've been gone from blogland for freakin' ages! I made a post in the beginning of the month, asking for questions since March was question month. Here we are now, in the end of March, and I'm just getting around to answering all of them! I'm a horrible blogger! I'm so sorry it took so long, and I'm sorry I've been so mia.

I just checked my email and I saw quite a few people checking in to make sure everything was okay. I honestly appreciate that SO much! Thank you all for that. Things are fine here, they've just been crazy busy! Between work and pre season softball workouts starting for the team I coach, it's just been hectic.

DD has been .. alright. I think we may have had one of those breakthrough type of conversations last night, and I'm excited to blog about that - but I wanted to answer these questions first! :)

These following questions are from TomsRose:

Advice for her and her husband who are in their first year, and moving slowly.

Kenzie: Continue to take it slowly. Don't rush it, and just kind of let it happen if that makes sense. Don't get frustrated when things get off track, because they WILL get off track .. many many times. Communicate your wants, your needs, and enjoy it! 

Colin: My advice would be to communicate. Both need to talk with each other and let each other how you guys feel. A piece of advice for him, would be to try and be consistent as possible. I have to take my own advice here, because it's not easy - but it is important. Good luck!

Has anything in your marriage been more challenging since implementing DD?

Kenzie: Hmm, that's a good question! Actually I'd say yes. It hasn't all been fairytales that's for sure .. there have been times I've wanted to give up, times I haven't felt submissive at all, and times when a spanking was the LAST thing I wanted. Those things caused us to argue when we weren't sure how to go about it and that definitely made the marriage challenging!

Colin: Some challenges we face were/are consistency which makes the marriage harder at times. I work long hours, have bad shoulders, and sometimes life just gets in the way. It has made it harder, but when we overcome it, it brings us closer.

Do you have a code word or look for when you're in public?

Kenzie: Oh he's got tons! He shakes his hand a bit and says it's "twitchy." He also smacks his hand together at times, and then there's the dreaded.. "Mmmhmmm." Plus that look when you just know you're about to cross the line .. or in my case, have already crossed it. ;)

Colin: I can't really describe it, but I have a look I give Kenzie, followed by, "Mmhmm." She knows what that means pretty well. :)

The next question is from Kimberly Pinkcheeks:

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Kenzie: Hm, I'm not sure if you mean TTWD or just in general, but fun question. :) TTWD I'd say most embarrassing was probably when we were hanging out with some DD friends and I had been a bit bratty when Colin and I were in private .. he had me go to the bathroom and put on some cap cream and then come back out. No one knew, but it was still pretty freakin' embarrassing! Embarrassing moment vanilla wise? Probably being a bit intoxicated in high school, running down a huuge hill to see my friend - and falling all the way down it. Not to mention hundreds of people were around! Colin wasn't sure if this was for him as well, but if it was he says he's sorry but he can't think of anything right now, lol.

Anonymous asked:

Have you guys ever considered contributing to spankingtube.com or a similar site?

Kenzie: Hey, don't apologize for the intimate questions - those are always fun to answer! ;) Hmm - I've thought about it, but I think it's something that's better left as a fantasy. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, but I don't know if I could actually go through with that. Plus I'd have to lose 30 lbs or so first! ;)

Colin: Right now I don't think it's something we're ready for, but I could see it possibly happening down the road. We'd just have to make sure our identity was completely secret, so not sure how that would happen.

Wilma Rubble asked the following: 

Aside from entertaining us with Seussian poetry, what is your favorite hobby? And where do you see yourself in three years?

Kenzie: Hmm... I help coach a softball team for my little sister and I absolutely love it! I played when I was younger so it's something I love being a part of. I also am kind of, slightly, obsessed with shopping! ;) Oh and the Seussian poetry is obvi an important hobby of mine. ;)

As for the second question, I wish I knew! Lol. I see myself still married to Colin. Still doing DD. Hopefully have DD a little more figured out by then? I'd like to travel, figure out what I want to do with a career, and maybe .. MAYBE start trying to have some babies. ;)

Lisa Lynn asked:

Do you have any rules that you find dumb and hard to obey? Also has he spanked you for something that wasn't your fault and how did you deal with it?

Kenzie: I just read this question out loud to Colin, and he goes, "Psh yea .. all of them." He's mean! Lol.. no, but seriously - I don't think I have any that I find dumb. They are pretty standard, most of them being the Four D's. As for finding them hard to obey - certainly! I hate cleaning, I hate doing laundry, and I hate chores - well Colin expects me to do those things, and it's not easy! It does make it easier that it's something that pleases him, so I guess I'm getting there. :) I can't think of a time he spanked me for something that wasn't my fault though. Not sure how I'd deal with that one.

Katie asked:

What is one of the most important things you have learned about yourself since incorporating this lifestyle?

Kenzie: Hm, that's a good one, and a hard one to answer, because there are so many things I'm still learning! To me, the most important thing I've learned is that I have a tendency to kind of snap and not think before I react. Colin and DD has helped me realized that I need to stop and think, and sometimes even take a deep breathe before I flip out and get angry at something. It's something I've always wanted to change, and this lifestyle really has helped that.

Joey asked:

How many times a week are you spanked? Also what is on your kink to do list?

Kenzie: Depends on the week, sometimes one, sometimes three, sometimes zero. Usually not that often though. Colin says, "Not nearly enough!" : O As for my kink to do list.. hmm. Getting spanked with another person watching, getting spanked by Colin and a female, and maybe being spanked alongside someone else? Those are just the ones off the top of my head. ;)

Leigh Smith aka Sunny Girl asked:

Have you ever heard of the poem, The Rainbow Bridge?

Kenzie: YESSSS! I saw it on a card when my dog passed away. I was having a really rough time, and that really helped me! It is the sweetest thing, definitely brought tears to my eyes! I love it. Thanks for bringing it up. :)

Autumn asked: 

Did you ask Colin to do DD for you, or was it something you arrived at together? Is Colin a spanko/natural Dominant, or is it something he had to learn to be for you?

Kenzie: I brought DD to Colin, after being together for quite a few years. To be honest, I never thought I'd be able to - but I'm so glad I finally found the courage to tell him! He is not a natural Dominant. Well not in the sense of the word that I pictured it. He wasn't someone who took charge, or made the decisions. He let me get away with a lot, gave me everything I wanted, and just wanted to please me all the time. He was always a natural Dominant in the sense that he took care of me, and protected me in such an amazing way. Now? He's a spanko .. full blown spanko! He's also very Dominant compared to how he used to be. I love the gentle Dominance in him, and the strict Dominance is so great - he's done such an amazing job finding that part of him. I think it's always been there, he was just afraid to show it. 

Ant Js asked:

My question is for Colin. How did you handle things in the beginning, in relation to how you deal with things now? And what is one thing you could share with couples going into this lifestyle that you learned worked or didn't work in the beginning?

Colin: In the beginning of DD, I was very unsure of myself and was afraid I was hurting Kenzie. Now I've been able to build confidence in myself and our DD relationship, and know that spanking is not something that is harming her or hurting her in a negative way. It's something she needs. Something I'd share with couples going into the lifestyle, is to have a lot of patience. Communication is huge. A lot of people don't recommend this at the beginning, but for us it worked really well, and we're actually going to do it again this weekend - a spanking/DD bootcamp. It helped us open up, and also helped to teach me different styles/techniques. It's not for everyone, but it did wonders for us.

SirQsmlb/Fiona asked the following:

What is something that is different between the fantasy of perfect TTWD in your head, and the real life TTWD that you experience every day? 

Kenzie: I love this question! Um pretty much everything! Lol, no just kidding. The fantasy I had in my head was that he was going to turn into Christian Grey, know exactly what to do, and I was going to be this perfect little submissive who always got it right .. HA! In my fantasy it didn't take any work. In real life, it takes a hell of a lot of work! To be honest though, I wouldn't trade my real life for my fantasy. :)

Colin: Fantasy TTWD has nothing getting in the way. Work doesn't get in the way, hurt shoulders don't exist, and Kenzie is submissive without all her hesitation. Real life TTWD has obstacles, things get in the way, it's harder than fantasy, but it's well worth all the work! One day our fantasies will be close to our realities. It takes time and practice to get to that point. ;)

What is your favorite/least favorite implement/toy?

Kenzie: Favorite implement is the belt. It huuurts when it's for punishment, but there is just something about it. Especially when he slides his belt off and gives me that look. Yum. ;) Least favorite implement? Hm tilt wand and the green monster are tied. Damn things! :)

Colin: Favorite implement is The Green Monster. (Thanks Brother Lee!) I also love the pocket paddle from Blondies Place that Kenzie won. *Evil grin.* Least favorite? I don't think I have one of those yet. :)

What do you most admire about each other and what bugs you the most?

Kenzie: I admire the way he protects me. The way he's always there for me and everyone he loves. He puts everybody else first and is the most genuine caring man I have ever met. He has a heart like no one else I've ever met. :) The thing that bugs me the most? He's a sexaholic. I can't keep up with him! Lol, just kidding .. kind of. ;) Seriously, I'd say what bugs me the most is that he's always on my ass about cleaning up. I could have an empty cup on the table and he can be such a pain about it! 

Colin: What I admire the most about Kenzie is how she knows just how to cheer me up. She can always make me smile and tries to make me laugh by doing silly little things that actually end up making me laugh. What bugs me the most about Kenzie is how she's a huge procrastinator. She puts everything off until the last minute, even after being reminded multiple times. 

Hayley asked: 

My question is for both of you. Do you think it'd be possible to DD with no spanking at all? What would be some alternative options that you consider effective? Any advice?

Kenzie: I think it's 100 percent possible to do DD without spanking. What works for one couple could be the exact opposite of what works for another. Spanking is one part of DD, but in my opinion, it can work without it. Alternatives that I think are effective are corner time, capcaisan cream, writing essays, writing lines, lectures, things you like being taken away - as in your phone, computer, tv shows. Just find what works for your guys, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work! :)

Colin: Yes, I think it's completely possible to do DD without spanking. Things that have worked for us are: cap cream, corner time, soap or hot sauce, kneeling, being sent to bed early, taking privileges away, etc. There are so many options, just try to find what's best for the both of you and you'll be able to make it work! 


Cole asked:

If you could tell a new to DD wife one piece of advice what would it be? Colin, what would you tell a new HOH?

Kenzie: Oooh, just one piece of advice? Hm. I'd go with making sure you know this isn't going to go how you planned. There are many books, videos, etc out there about DD and we tend to get this vision in our heads of the perfect DD relationship. Don't get hung up on that. Figure out what works for you, and go with it. :)

Colin: If I could give only one piece of advice it would be to not get frustrated through the struggles of DD. There'll be ups, downs, easy times, and hard times, and you just have to stick with it and eventually it will fall into place.

Cathy asked:

Did Colin ever have a hard time in the beginning, spanking you for discipline? What have you found to be the hardest aspect of submission for you?

Kenzie: The hardest aspect of submission for me, is literally being submissive. I'm used to making the decisions and not having to really answer to anyone. One of the main reasons I wanted a DD relationship is because I was sick of that. I wanted to answer to someone, I wanted someone to make certain decisions for me, and for someone to hold me accountable. Even though I want that badly, it's hard to accept. It can be hard at times finding the line between being a submissive, and being independent. That's been a struggle. 

Colin: I did have a hard time in the beginning with spanking for discipline. I didn't want to hurt her and it took me a while to realize it was something she really needed. Try to talk to your husband about it, and just let him know it's not hurting in a negative way. It's not something that will harm you in the way he's thinking. Maybe you two can try to come up with a safe word so that he will know if it gets to be too much, you will be able to put a stop to it.

Es May asked:

What implement would you keep if you were told you could only keep one? What would Colin choose?

Kenzie: Can I pick his hand? Lol. If I can, that's what I pick! If I can't pick that one then I'd go with .. hmm .. one of the wooden paddles maybe? I would want to keep something that was effective, but not one of the really evil ones! So yea, wooden paddle. :)

Colin: That's a tough one! I could never choose just one. ;) If I had to choose, it'd be between the bathbrush and the pocket paddle Kenzie got from Blondie. She seems to really 'love' those. :p

Sassy asked:

When are you coming back for a visit, or better yet when are you moving here?

Kenzie: Hahaha, I looove this question. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Seriously, screw my fear of flying. I need to come seeeee you guysss! 

Colin: Oh we're moving there asap. We'll come for a visit this weekend. "Mmmhmm."

Those were awesome questions! Thank you guys so much for the questions, and we hope you enjoyed the answers. I also want to say thanks for all the kind thoughts about my dog passing away. He was a big part of my life, I miss him every single day, and your thoughts were all so sweet! Thank you!

I can't wait to get back into reading blogs and catching up on how everyone has been! Miss everyone tons! Hope all is well with DD and everyones getting lots of spankings .. good girl spankings of course. ;)

I feel like I have to include a picture at the end of this post, so here ya go! 


2 comments:

  1. You answered just in time! Thanks for taking the time to answer all those. Now, what's the special thing in April for Blogland???

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  2. Great questions and answers. Welcome back and hope to see you around more

    ReplyDelete