tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post2044636243004739148..comments2024-02-27T02:28:51.897-05:00Comments on Poly & Poetry: There's no room in D/s or DD for insecurity! Kenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-19529012116809058812013-11-22T14:43:33.956-05:002013-11-22T14:43:33.956-05:00(con't...)
1...I exercise with my husband alm...(con't...)<br /><br />1...I exercise with my husband almost every day. We're a DD couple now, but it’s not a rule. He leads by example, but expects me to submit by keeping fit. I’m not allowed to just get on a treadmill and walk. I’m expected to follow a weight training program. I don’t have to give him a log. He just trusts that I do as he says because time will tell if I'm slacking. (That would be lying and be really bad for my bottom.) If it helps at all.....I’m a freaking energizer bunny now and can go for hours in the bedroom and he loves that part. My body is fueled with lean muscle strength and stamina. (no...women can’t get bulky from weight training. We don't have the testosterone to support that. If you had a personal chef and trainer living with you and did everything perfect for a year......you might gain 12 lbs of muscle, but lose as much in fat and be many sizes smaller)<br /><br />2. A good HOH loves their wife regardless (as yours clearly does. I've read your posts and he adores you) and mine would still adore me if I was overweight (I’m not skinny by an stretch of the imagination), but now that I'm educated on the subject and have seen first hand what it’s like to be fit and active.....I could never take that from him. I think of it this way. I stay fit and active "for us”, NOT "because of him”. <br /><br />3. On a more serious note......My husbands Mother and Sister BOTH died in their sleep from weight related issues, so I'm going to be very frank with this one and I hope I don't offend anyone, but people can talk about being "full figured" and "curvy" all day long. Fat is fat and its unhealthy. (I can say this because I was overweight, so I'm speaking from someone who knows) I “faked it” all day, every day, before I lost 50 lbs. Now that we're healthy, and in shape, we go to the doctor for colds and checkups. I sleep great (no more ambien after years of insomnia) and I look at my husband with a new found respect. He made changes for both of us, at my constant request. (this request turned into fights, which turned into many sore bottoms on my part, but I finally made my opinion heard and my bottom looks better today for it. :-)) We did it for our health. Looking great naked is just one of the perks. <br /><br />4. If you take care of you and yours, you'll try and find reasons to be naked. My HOH has me do positions training, naked, in the middle of the room, with every light in the house on, in a different pair of heels, once a week. I'm still self conscious because I'm human....I'm exposed. That's normal, but that goes away when he has me holding different standing/kneeling positions that make me sweat. (I keep it straight and tight as to not sag) I can usually do what he demands because I'm in shape. I’m submitting and he’s teaching me to understand that he’s the one I submit to, and he’s the one who also protects me.<br /><br />I could go on, but I've said so much already. I had to give my 2cents because I saw sooo many one sided views supporting the idea that body image comes from society pressure...etc. I was out of shape once and from this side of the monitor, I speak the truth from my own experience. I don’t have time to go through, review my post, and sugar coat this. I'm so sorry if I offended you. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I’m saying exactly what one of my very best friends told me 4 years ago and it changed my life.....maybe saved it. I’m now sharing it with you because I like being naked now, for the most part AND….I don’t have to fake it. <br /><br />Good luck to you sweetie,<br />(((HUGS))))<br /><br />P.S. I learned the greatest workout (an at home versions too) you can do that will make you butt look amazing....take better spankings too. I know, my HOH appreciates it immensely and comments on the bounce every time. I swear, he thinks up reasons to punish me. ("Did you notice the sky was blue today? NO?!? Bend over!)<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08500125963378223170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-71826890267277923002013-11-22T14:19:13.726-05:002013-11-22T14:19:13.726-05:00This is a long post but I couldn't shorten it....This is a long post but I couldn't shorten it. Please be patient....<br /><br />I really loved reading all your posts, but this one talked to me. I too, like millions of women have struggled. No matter how skinny I've been, I always thought...."Just 5 more lbs". No matter how small, I felt "insecure" about my body, but why? Why after 26 yrs of marriage did I still struggle with my body in front of my husband. This prompted me to research more on the subject. (I am an over analyzer, but it works for me sometimes...bare with me here) I'm 44 and that feeling never disappears and I wanted to know why. (it subsides a little with age, but not much)<br /><br />First of all....It’s not all about society. Its natural and instinctive for women to be like this. It’s in our DNA. It’s a protective instinct to cover our bodies as to not show off too much and attract an undesirable mate. That instinct doesn't disappear as-soon-as you find your mate because this instinct also protects us from having a crap ton of babies.<br /><br />Second....It’s in our Husbands DNA to mate with someone that's not "used up" so to speak. For lack of a better word, total slut. He was instinctively attracted to you for the very thing that your worried about. In my husbands words, "Your shyness is part of your charm and that makes me want you more." Men love to teach us and if we've have "lots of practice".....what’s there to desire?<br /><br />Third..... With our DNA working against us to be "comfortable" in our own skin, we now have an issue with knowing what a supermodel looks like in a bathing suit and pictures to remind us of what we looked like "back then".<br /><br />Holy cow. Hows a girl supposed to get laid???<br /><br />I could go on and on and on about the science behind the subject, but the first 2 are clear facts. With that said, we can cut ourselves some slack. Now, on to the subject of exercise and diet, for a girl, in today's society.<br />I've been pretty active most of my life and exercise is my candy. I didn't always think like this because sometimes life gets in the way, but we'll make all sorts of excuses, won't we. I got older and weight is way harder to keep under control. Plus, I started having a pain here and there which concerned me. So, I was off and researching. Everything lead back to exercise, exercise, exercise, weight maintenance. So, I bit the bullet and just started doing it.<br /><br />(Fast forward several years and this is what I know, in retrospect)<br /><br />(con't.....)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08500125963378223170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-78028991440026608002013-10-28T22:52:38.195-04:002013-10-28T22:52:38.195-04:00After reading your post and the comments so many t...After reading your post and the comments so many thoughts are running through my head. I understand insecurities. We all have them and with each decade of life they seem to change. As a woman kicking forty right in the butt I am much more secure now than I ever was in my twenties. If I'd only known then... life, sex, relationships are so much more fun and fulfilling once you stop taking things so seriously. Remember, men are attracted to women not teenage girls. What make us women is just what so many of us seem to hate. Curves are good!! Embrace them. As far as letting go. Have fun. When that thought tries to sneak in at the most inopportune time ie. Good grief what must I look like in this position. Focus on how you are feeling at th exact time. Don't think of anything else. Extreme focus will shut everything out and you can just feel. Well it's works for me. It all started with th simple act of closing my eyes and only focusing on point of contact. Don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy being together. Good luck. Just remember that when you finally really learn too let go it is so worth it. Thanks for writing. I've enjoyed reading your blog.<br /><br />Enjoy you new toys. Might I recommend the Hitachi wand if you don't already have it. You may not have a choice about letting go. Melliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05031511500125586936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-46949477179338754642013-10-03T10:38:23.758-04:002013-10-03T10:38:23.758-04:00Your blog has actually helped a lot, with me reali...Your blog has actually helped a lot, with me realizing I need to let go, and just trust in Colin. I think it's great how you're able to submit so well! Thanks :)<br /><br />Oh and ps - What's a fan shirt?Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-59502904256803051162013-10-03T10:37:16.822-04:002013-10-03T10:37:16.822-04:00You're the best. Love you so much.You're the best. Love you so much.Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-78748018272219669072013-10-03T10:36:50.033-04:002013-10-03T10:36:50.033-04:00It is totally a fake it til you make it, kinda thi...It is totally a fake it til you make it, kinda thing! I just didn't realize that until your comment, so thank you for pointing that out!<br /><br />You're not off at all, in fact your comment is 100 percent spot on, and that's an awesome idea. One that I think will really help a lot.<br /><br />Thanks so much! :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-37945221322118995992013-10-03T10:35:26.667-04:002013-10-03T10:35:26.667-04:00He is a very supporting husband, I love that about...He is a very supporting husband, I love that about him. :)<br /><br />I think that's a great rule! Thanks so much for the advice and for the sweet words. :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-67998048124800575712013-10-03T10:34:27.593-04:002013-10-03T10:34:27.593-04:00He can be a sweetie. ;)
I like the idea of your ...He can be a sweetie. ;) <br /><br />I like the idea of your role affirmation. Sounds like something that really works!<br /><br />Thanks Roz. :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-7278268257851461012013-10-03T10:33:43.109-04:002013-10-03T10:33:43.109-04:00They really do become ingrained, don't they? I...They really do become ingrained, don't they? It seems to just stick with us! <br /><br />This was such a sweet comment, and I really appreciate the kind words. :) Thank you!Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-18277944256130385122013-10-03T10:32:11.393-04:002013-10-03T10:32:11.393-04:00Aw, she is a lucky one for sure! You're so swe...Aw, she is a lucky one for sure! You're so sweet. You're right, it's time to trust in what Colin tells me.Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-31723453830938350162013-10-03T10:31:36.909-04:002013-10-03T10:31:36.909-04:00Oh, the excuses - I can relate to that for suuure!...Oh, the excuses - I can relate to that for suuure! That motivation and attention from him, sounds like something that really helped you to commit! <br /><br />Thanks, you're right about the blog, I appreciate it! :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-47996685514371469432013-10-03T10:29:56.198-04:002013-10-03T10:29:56.198-04:00I got your email and wrote back - great ideas! :) ...I got your email and wrote back - great ideas! :) Thanks so much for that!Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-66185983844355271182013-10-03T10:26:43.850-04:002013-10-03T10:26:43.850-04:00Aw, gosh this is all so true! I love it, thanks fo...Aw, gosh this is all so true! I love it, thanks for sharing your story, it's nice knowing we can all relate in ways. <br /><br />I love that quote, and it's SO right .. rather than worrying about everything, it's time to just let go of all that crap, and have fun with it. :) Thanks M!Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-18536250694035258622013-10-03T10:24:45.303-04:002013-10-03T10:24:45.303-04:00Of course you can use that image. :) Isn't it ...Of course you can use that image. :) Isn't it great? I love it!<br /><br />Aw, you're right - what sweet words. Thank you! :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-58475438478667935082013-10-03T10:23:55.663-04:002013-10-03T10:23:55.663-04:00Hm, maybe like you said, NOT trying to understand ...Hm, maybe like you said, NOT trying to understand it, is the way to go! I just have to trust in him, and his words, and leave it at that. I also like the idea of letting him know if you're feeling down, so that he can help. Thanks for the advice. :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-65683605745708700602013-10-03T10:21:27.459-04:002013-10-03T10:21:27.459-04:00Thank you! As hard as it can be sometimes, I try t...Thank you! As hard as it can be sometimes, I try to be very raw and open with my posts. Thanks for the compliment!Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-16263889803659390292013-10-03T10:20:55.647-04:002013-10-03T10:20:55.647-04:00If I figure it out, I will certainly write a post....If I figure it out, I will certainly write a post. ;) Lol, but in all seriousness, these comments REALLY helped me put it all into perspective. It's about trusting him, and enjoying the dynamic. Thanks Brenna!Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-54086595708503626572013-10-03T10:19:52.371-04:002013-10-03T10:19:52.371-04:00Thanks so much - what a sweet comment! You're ...Thanks so much - what a sweet comment! You're right, accepting his opinion is what it all comes down it. That, and trusting in what he says. Thank you. :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-32567839652648399102013-10-03T10:18:09.111-04:002013-10-03T10:18:09.111-04:00You're so right about forgetting the complimen...You're so right about forgetting the compliments, yet the insults are burned into our brains forever! <br /><br />I never thought of it like you mentioned in the last paragraph. You're right, when I say it to him i'm sincere and honest, so why wouldn't he be the same? Thanks Lea! :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-90594900669397255732013-10-03T10:16:34.901-04:002013-10-03T10:16:34.901-04:00Aw, Es May, thanks for sharing your story & fo...Aw, Es May, thanks for sharing your story & for the advice. I love the last little piece of advice about asking him to take twenty minutes. This really helped, thank you. :)Kenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300931055285711554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-2000631326160490892013-10-01T19:08:51.611-04:002013-10-01T19:08:51.611-04:00I too have insecurities, and have had a hard time ...I too have insecurities, and have had a hard time loving my body. But the Duke really helps me. I first of all am not allowed to talk bad about myself, whether it be my body, or my intelligence, I'm to talk nice about myself. Secondly, the Duke will take time in the bedroom and just patiently ask me to trust him as he explores me in more and more ways as time goes by. He wants me to feel free to be embarrassed if I need, but to trust im more than the embarrassment. He wants me to know that I have nothing to hide from him, and that he values every square inch of me, and trust me, there are way more than there should be. I know you want to get to a smaller size, I am working on that too, but if you don't believe your husband right now that he finds you beautiful, you may be stuck feeling the same way when you are smaller. Maybe ask him to take twenty minutes with you, having him touch you on areas where there are no clothes, and telling you why he loves what he sees, what he feels. And TRUST him that he's being honest. Roles reversed, would you want him doubting your sincerity? He loves you, and how you look and feel to him... that is such a gift. :) You can let go, just get him to push you more and more into that, it'll be so worth it. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-17118442496021935922013-09-29T15:47:53.885-04:002013-09-29T15:47:53.885-04:00The first picture you put at the top is something ...The first picture you put at the top is something I really needed to read today. I can really relate to having some of those insecurities and body image issues and it's something I've written about myself. Accepting who we are/how we are/what we look like is not an easy thing. I've struggled with it my whole life. Too tall, too fat, not pretty enough, not as popular as so-and-so, it goes on and on. For whatever reason it seems to be much easier to see the negative than the positive. I think that way of thinking is part of the problem. When someone has said something bad about me, I remember it FOREVER. But ten compliments after hearing one negative thing just get brushed off as "oh they're just trying to be nice and make me feel better. They don't mean it."<br /><br />It is not an easy cycle to break from. It's hard not to take to heart cruel comments people spout off whether it was from when we were in elementary school or two weeks ago. Unfortunately, I don't have a magical solution to just feel great about myself all the time. You just have to take it one step at a time and there will be good days and bad days. Start with thinking about one thing whether it's in your physical appearance or a personality trait, whatever, one thing you really like about yourself. Keep reminding yourself about that. "I really like my eyes or people think I'm really funny," doesn't matter what it is. Each day try to think of a new thing and after a while it may come a lot easier.<br /><br />Trust your partner. Don't brush off what he says he loves about you as just being nice or trying to make you feel better. That may hurt him that his opinion isn't being taken seriously and it can hurt you too. He means it. He loves you. We are our own harshest critics. Sometimes trying to see yourself through someone else's eyes is much more accurate and objective. Think about all the things you love about him and how much you mean it when you share that with him. He means what he says to you too. Let yourself be vulnerable. He will take care of you.Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-33828071220444541582013-09-28T07:10:55.432-04:002013-09-28T07:10:55.432-04:00Most times our self image of ourselves is off base...Most times our self image of ourselves is off base and clearly unnecessary. My Master loves me scars and all. He treats me with great respect. I worry about looking beautiful and desiring, his words take over and revive in me how gorgeous and beautiful I am to him. Such a hard thing for me to let go and be comfortable in my own skin. It's not a request...it's law. I love when he dominates me. My submissive is called out and must comply with no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Took a long time learning the ropes and IvBulletin am still learning how things work. I enjoy being his "beauty". I crave his ways that keep me grounded that still enforce me to step back and acknowledge I need this more than anything in my life. His control turns me on and helps me believe I am the one of the many beautiful women that he only desires and will love forever and ever. Give all your insecurities to him. Let him be the one who ravishes you with all the love you need. His love for you shines thru in his post. Accept his opinion as well as accepting it for yourself! Long, hard lesson that I was too stubborn to learn, but finally learned with th help of my most gracious Dom Master! I give thanks everyday for him! Gods bless Colin and you! Wish you both many years of happiness, love, joy, patience, and peace!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13596958066467835439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-28586026894452342772013-09-26T23:18:31.702-04:002013-09-26T23:18:31.702-04:00I think most women can relate to this post--I don&...I think most women can relate to this post--I don't know if this will help, but I AM a size four, and I still have insecurities. I was a 00, full-time ballet dancer when we got married. Now, I have stretchmarks that look like a US roadmap and (UGH!) my thighs touch when I walk, and I swear everything dropped four inches after childbirth. Bruce tells me CONSTANTLY that he thinks I'm sexy, that even my stretchmarks are because they're from the child I gave him. But women are insecure. Eight years of marriage and I still want to keep my bra on during our sack sessions. Him taking control does help, because then I don't think about it, it's about him and I just enjoy that dynamic. <br />Anyway...I just want to let you know, you're certainly not alone, and if you find a way to completely let it go, PLEASE write a post spilling the secret! :)<br />*hugs*Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14763217720019373027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753749621089570634.post-49287777925412585612013-09-26T17:28:29.647-04:002013-09-26T17:28:29.647-04:00This is a very thoughtful and obviously honest exp...This is a very thoughtful and obviously honest exploration of where you want to go. Very refreshing. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com