Tuesday, May 21, 2013

What is Dominance? *I'll let the pictures explain*

I've mentioned in a few posts, how Colin and I are always trying to find new ideas for him to assert his Dominance, and although we have come up with some ideas, I feel like there can always be something .. more.

It's hard because i've had the idea of DD/TTWD, etc, in my mind since I was pretty young, whereas Colin is pretty new to the whole idea. I have this picture in my mind of how I want him to be, things I want him to say, a picture of what I see as effective/Dominant. Part of me wants to tell him these things, because let's face it, no one is a mind reader, but at the same time, there's a big part of me that wants him to just .. know. There's a part of him that is getting very .. naturally dominant, yet there's another side to him as well. I absolutely LOVE that side, and I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING. Seriously, if a genie appeared right now, and told me that I could have him be the perfect dominant in my mind, but that other side of him would go away, I wouldn't even THINK about agreeing to that.

Colin is really a sweet, loving, gentle teddy bear. He would put anyone before himself, would give me the world, and just has this amazing gentle side to him. I love that. I love when he plays with my hair, or just rubs my back and holds me. Something i've realized, is that, THAT is naturally dominant in a way. Dominance isn't just about giving orders, or showing who is in charge. It's about protection, comfort, and care. He's got that part nailed down, so really, i'm incredibly lucky. Now if he could channel his inner Christian Grey a bit more, i'd be even luckier. :p

Basically, what i'm trying to say is, yes I talk about how he needs to assert his Dominance more, and he needs to work on lecturing and using corner time, things like that, BUT I also need to say how amazing he is at other things. That protective side of a Dominant. That caring, loving, feel 100 percent safe with him, side of a Dominant .. I couldn't ask for anything better when it comes to that.


With that being said, there IS still that other side. The "i'm in charge" side. So what do I envision THAT as? When it comes to words, I could type a NOVEL on that topic, so I thought i'd give you guys a little break from my words, and just use some pictures to explain what I see as .. Dominance. I also found some pictures to explain how I feel about Submission, but i'll save that for another post. :)

*I found all these pictures from tumblr, but they weren't off a certain page. I searched by "labels" such as Dominance, Submission, etc.. so I couldn't find a way to link the images back to the original poster. If you're the original poster of these images, please let me know, and i'd love to give you credit.*





















21 comments:

  1. Kenzie,

    I really liked this post a lot. Colin is very special. He is a caring, protective and loving person. He can learn to be the Dom you want.

    If I asked my friends what made a person a good Dom/Top, they would say a caring, protective and loving spirit. I hope he reads this post, you really described what you want.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. Aw thanks joey .. your comment is really sweet. It'll take time, it's a learning process, but we will get there. I'm lucky that he's so willing to learn. :)

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  2. Hi Kenzie,
    What a great post. I do think that a great Dom needs to have that loving, protective and caring side to them in order to learn the other side. You wrote exactly how I feel. I hope Colin reads your post.
    Kim

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    1. Aw thanks Kim! They certainly need to have that loving protective side, it is really important. :)

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  3. Mhhh hot! Really hot pictures! lol

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    1. lol thanks Julia, I love those pics! :)

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  4. Good pictures! I'm personally NOT a fan of Christan Grey at all... in fact he's the antithesis of all things spanking/dom that I can think of. Sounds like your dom is much more realistic, much more human, and much more loving :) You've got a good one, lady, and it sounds like he's well appreciated.

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    1. Thanks Rosie! I think to me, the thing I like about Christian Grey is just that he's .. take charge. There are certain things about him I can NOT stand! I also think it's because I imagine him as Matt Bomer, and that man is just.. yummy lol. As for Colin, he is well appreciated, and I hope he knows that. :)

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  5. Great post. I'm in a very similar situation as you. I would love for Clyde to be more dominant. I have certain ideals of what a Dom would act like. Christian Grey....ummm yes please.
    P.s. I love the pics.

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    1. Thanks Bonnie! The situation is hard to be in, because we have this idea in our heads - I think with time and communication, it'll all make sense. :)

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  6. Ooh I liked these pictures for sure!! I love what you said about how the teddy bear sweet side is the best and how you wouldn't change it for a thing. You've got a good one, Kenzie!! ;)

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    1. Aw thanks Riley! Those are some .. nice pictures for sure. :) Lol, and yes he is a good one! I may complain at times, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.

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  7. It sounds like you already have your perfect dom. great post loved the pictures to

    Bob

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    1. Thanks Bob! Although stuff could improve, he certainly is my perfect Dom :)

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  8. I think it just takes time and some experimentation to discover what your personal ttwd 'style' is. The provider/protector aspect has always come very naturally to my husband, but actively leading me and using ttwd to hold me accountable is obviously newer so I think it just takes time to develop ways to express that aspect that. It sounds like you guys are on the right track:)

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    1. It does take time, and it has helped me to realize there is more than one side/aspect to Dominance. Like your husband, Colin has the provider/protector aspect down to a T. The other stuff is a lot newer to him, so it's going to take time. Thanks for the comment! :)

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  9. Hey Kenzie. :) Here's the thing with this whole Dom/Sub "we have a picture in our mind of the perfect Dom" deal.

    If you want your husband to be more dominant, you need to be more submissive. It's really and truly as simple as that. Submission brings about dominance. Do little submissive things and teach yourself to have a submissive mindset.

    When he steps up to the plate and melts your heart by Domming you in the way your heart desires, TELL him. "I love it when you say that."
    "You make me feel so safe and loved when you treat me like that."

    -- Cammie

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  10. Hey Cammie, thanks for this comment! I think you're so right, and in order for him to feel more Dominant, I have to be more submissive. I like the idea of letting him know when he does something I like - after all, no one is a mind reader lol. Thanks :)

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  11. Colin sounds like a great guy. A gentle and loving heart is something that is just there or isn't, the rest of what you want can be learned. Love the images.

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