Monday, June 2, 2014

When Spanking Isn't an Option.

Hi everyone!

I know this is probably the hundredth time I've said this in the past few months - but yes, I've been MIA from blog land once again. I swear I always tell myself I'm going to start keeping up with it like I used to, but it's SO hard lately. Mainly because I have NO time, but also because I've had no clue what to write about.

Anyway, I'm back .. for now. I can't say updates will be all the time, but I really am hoping to get on here more often. I really miss reading everyones blogs - and after I write this entry, I'll be catching up to see how everyone is doing. :)

So as for Colin and I? Well, it's been rocky to say the least. We haven't been bad, or in a negative place, or anything like that. But I certainly can't say DD has been easy these past few months.

I've mentioned Colin's shoulder issues before, but it's been worse than ever lately. It bothers him pretty much 24/7 and it's been difficult to find out what's wrong with it, and how to treat it.

Good news is, he finally got a diagnosis. Well two actually. He has carpal tunnel in his wrist, and he has a an abnormally large bone spur in his shoulder.

Bad news? It requires two surgeries, and a good amount of recovery time - as well as wearing a sling for about a month. I'm so so so SO thrilled for him, because other doctors have told us there was nothing they could see on xrays, mris, etc - so he had no relief, no way of helping the pain or anything. Now, he finally knows it's not all in his head, there is an actual problem, and a way of fixing it! I'll be so happy for him once it's all done, and the pain isn't bothering him all the time.

It'll be hard though, because it's his dominant hand/arm that will be getting the surgery. His job requires heavy lifting most of the time so he may have to take some time off of work, it will be hard financially, he won't be able to drive for a little bit, oh and not to mention it's his spanking arm. :p

You would think I'd be celebrating that his spanking arm will be out of commission for about a month, but really I'm praying it doesn't send us/DD spiraling backwards a million steps. He's tried using his other arm a couple times, and it's okay - but it doesn't totally do the trick. Before he gets the surgery, there will be times his arm feels okay and he's able to do those quick, yet very hard type of spankings, so that's a plus (I think?) But those long, drawn out spankings that, yes I admit, I do need from time to time, aren't going to be happening for a while.

We know there are non spanking punishments out there as well, but for some reason there's a consistency issue with those type of punishments. Well, there hasn't been lately, that's for sure. Especially when it comes to lecturing and calling me out on not following the rules. But there are times when he doesn't pay as much as attention to things as I'd like/need.

It's not that he doesn't care enough or anything like that, but he works like crazy, he's always got a million things on his mind, and of course, sometimes it's just hard to be consistent. Life likes to get in the way.

I think we're both going to have to give and take a bit. He's going to have to try and be extra consistent with non spanking punishments, and I'm going to have to be extra submissive when he dishes out those punishments. I'm also going to have to be patient and just realize that just because things may be different for a month or so, it doesn't mean we will take steps backwards or lose DD completely.

I've mentioned in this blog previously, that before Colin - I had been spanked by a couple of other people. Colin actually suggested talking to those people and seeing if someone would be able to 'help out' if there's ever a time that nothing besides a good old fashioned spanking will do the trick. I wasn't sure if I was going to mention that here or not, because I know some people would think that was absolutely crazy, and I get that. But, what is this blog for, if not to be honest and open and just kind of get my thoughts into words on a screen. I go back and forth on that option, but if it was a person I trusted, purely platonic discipline, and Colin was all for it - especially if it'd make things a little easier, then I guess why not at least be open to it.

We'll see.

On the plus side, as a couple, we've been great. We've been playful and silly together a lot recently, and that really is my favorite thing about Colin - that we can be goofy together. Wrestling, laughing, just loving each other. I'm so thankful for him - bad shoulder or not. ;)

I do have to say, he has been pretty HOHy lately. I was out with a friend the other night and we were talking and talking and talking. I noticed a couple texts/calls from Colin, but didn't want to interrupt our conversation to respond. (Stupid, I know!) About an hour later, when I finally called him - he wasn't too happy. I got quite the lecture on how he was so nervous, wondering if I was okay. How I NEED to check in during times like that. He told me he understands that sometimes conversations can go on and on, but it's not too hard to send a quick text and let him know I'm okay so he doesn't continue to worry. I also got one of those quick, but pretty darn hard type spankings. I didn't think 24 swats accompanied by a lecture where I was made to keep eye contact, would be as effective as it was! Let's just say I'll make sure to text him back or answer his phone call right away next time!

Have any of you ever had to deal with the HOH having some sort of injury where spanking just wasn't an option? If so, any suggestions? They'd be very much appreciated by both of us. :)

So that's about it for now.. I'm sorry this post was kind of all over the place, and a bunch of rambling, but I think I just really needed to write. I have/had a lot of thoughts in my head, and I just needed a place to .. get it all out. :)

Hopefully the next post will be less rambling!

Miss hearing from everyone & hope everyone is doing well!


  1. We are in almost exactly the same place Kenzie. His dominant shoulder is playing up and has now been found to be crushed nerves that need time and exercise we think.
    An odd quick spanking here and there has been introduced but for the main there has been a famine. Sadly the pain and incapacity has brought him to a low level emotionally and he is letting most stuff slip..
    Sorry I have no good answers for you but I can say that I really do understand!

    1. Oh no! I'm sorry you guys are going through this stuff as well. It's freakin' hard!

      Colin is in the same boat at times - he gets so down that stuff has been slipping a lot. It's been a lot better recently though.

      Hey, if you ever want to vent or swap ideas since we're in a similiar situation - feel free to shoot me an email.


  2. Thanks for the update, and I'm glad there is a fix for Colin's carpal tunnel/bone spur. I have not had to deal with an injury, but I did have to deal with my husband being gone for a long time, and I did have someone else spank me (I don't think that's a crazy idea at all--that is by far not the craziest thing in spanko blogland). It was OK...I'm curious as to what your previous experiences with someone else were. I found the guy on Fetlife, which I'm no longer a member of cause of the number of perverts and trolls on there, but, at the time, it was sort of a good way to meet a possible spanker while my husband was gone. Not sure if I would do it again, but I think it would be a totally different, and perhaps arousing experience for Colin to *watch* someone else discipline you. Of course, it's all up to you two, though, and I'm sure you'll find a way to work through it!

    1. Hey Autumn! Aw I'm sorry he's gone for long periods of time, that must be hard! As for fetlife, ugh that site can be scary can't it? There are some good people there, but there are also SO many creeps!! I was lucky and had good experiences with others, before Colin .. but I don't think I'd be able to meet a new person again.. especially not by myself - it's just too scary to think about!

  3. Im so sorry to hear of Colins shoulder/wrist problem but glad there is a fix. We have had an injury prevent us from using spanking but it was me and not him. We r truckers and I fell out of the truck (about 5' up or so) and landed hip first. Needless to say I was out of commission for some time. My attitude did hit the skids a cpl times and dd was hard to keep alive but he used cornertime (for short times due to the hip), me sitting on a heating pad, writing lines, me having to write essays about my behavior or diff things that he would cook up..its all about getting creative. And hey if having someone else spank you fills everybodys needs then no one should judge. Best of luck to you both and have always enjoyed your blog

    1. Oh my gosh! That sounds so scary - I'm so glad you're okay now! You're right about the creativity - we've been researching and trying to find other things that work in the meantime. :)

  4. Thanks for the update. I am sorry to learn that Colin needs surgery. He will need lots of TLC.

    I am glad that you are doing well as a couple.

    Big Hug,

    1. Thanks Joey! Oh he will be gettin' lots of tlc when he's healing, lol. :)

  5. I am like Lucy up there in the sense that we have had injury play a part in our Dd relationship too- mine. It isn't specifically in the spanking zone- but tensing up those tendons during a spanking causes me great pain. Not only that but pain, like Janey said about her husband, caused me to retreat into my own world more often than not. So I can empathize with Colin. I would also imagine as the leader of your family he feels disappointed in himself that he can't be what you need at times ( which makes me wonder in the long run if someone else spanking you is a good idea- not judging just something to think about, okay? ).

    I think Lucy has some great ideas....also do you have a cane? Because that puppy can sting even when used with the weaker hand.

    I know the need to be spanked Kenzie. The release it gives. The only other thing I can suggest is continue to try your best and think of it as the ultimate test of submission ( I know right? LOL) until Colin is better. There is a light at the end of this very long tunnel- and that is a good thing! As frustrating as it is, I'm sure, try to continue to follow his lead even if it doesn't seem strong at times- he'll appreciate it in the long run.
    AND when you get frustrated....come here and VENT away. Many of us understand- and our husbands don't even have injuries ( ....yet *wink*)

    1. Thanks so much Wilma - that's something I sure have thought about, and it's a big part of what is holding me back from finding someone else to take over for the time being.

      I actually really like trying to think of it as the ultimate test of submission. We're been working at it, and trying to think of other things that work in place of spanking until he's all better - so we'll see.

      Thank you! :)

  6. It's good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about Colin but good news that he finally has a diagnosis. Wilma is right, canes can sting without much force:)


    1. Thank you Ronnie! It is great to finally have a diagnosis, especially knowing he can now start the road to recovery! :)

  7. So happy to read your post, I am sorry Colin needs surgery but just think how strong he will be after! Eeeek! I know how you feel as Lee & I have been good but still off at times due to a very busy time of year for both of us and he is leaving again. As far as someone else sp****** you, I think personally that can be dangerous just me thinking. Anyway I am so glad you are back and you might be surprised how well he sp**** using his other arm seems to me Lee is great with both unfortunately for me, he is a switch hitter.

    1. I think it can be dangerous too - it's not something I seem to be able to just leap into .. of course I'd much rather it be Colin doing the spanking - but we'll see what happens .. I think he'll try his other hand as well, damn switch hitters! Lol

  8. Yay! I'm glad that Colin has finally gotten a diagnosis (or 2 actually). But, I'm sorry it means some surgeries. I hope and pray that they go well and he's fully recovered before you know it! :)

    1. Thanks Grace! It's so nice to finally know there's something there that can actually be fixed!! He goes in again on Tuesday to discuss surgery and all that good stuff - so we shall see! :)

  9. A loopy Johnny needs no strength at all to be so effective that I'd be angelic if we had one. It's been used in me but we have never ( jackie looking up and says a grateful thanks) had one.

    Don was gone for seven months. Just returned 10 days ago. I wasn't actually sure he'd be back but during his absence my friend Hank spanked me when he thought I needed it. He also kept track of me daily which helped. Truth is, he didn't do it as hard as Don but it worked for me. I don't think its a crazy idea at all actually.

  10. Thanks for the tip Jackie! We tried a loopy johnny once, but it wasn't put together too well and it kind of broke apart - so maybe that's something we should look into again. Glad it worked for you and you don't think I'm crazy. :)