Saturday, June 14, 2014

You're going to be my good girl.

Yay, I have time to blog again! AND I even had time to catch up on a bunch of blogs as well!

I've realized a couple of times now, that in blog land, it seems like when one of us is going through something, at least 5 others seem to be going through it as well. Whether it's a tough time, not feeling submissive, or our HOH's being.. super HOHy. I love how it's a place where so many people can relate to each other on so many different obstacles/issues.

Anyway - Colin and I are doing pretty good. He's going to the doctor on Tuesday to discuss surgery options and all that fun stuff, so we will have a plan and a scheduled surgery (or surgeries?) for him soon. Like I said in the last post, it has been very tough when it comes to spanking, or lack of, but he's certainly been making up for it with his HOHy-ness. 

We recently went on a vacation, and it was SO nice to get away and be able to relax a bit. There wasn't much relaxing because there was a huge music festival going on, so we were doing something almost every hour of every day, but it was SO much fun! I had been wanting to talk to him about finding ways to make DD/Ds stay alive while his shoulder was hurting, but I had been holding back because I really wanted HIM to bring it up.

Finally, I realized for the millionth time in our relationship - he is NOT a mind reader. I need to be able to communicate with him and let him know how I feel. So I came up with an idea, and I decided to talk to him about it. I asked him if we could do a maintenance type thing, minus the spanking.

Something where every night before bed, we'd have a little talk. He could tell me what I need to work on, what I've been doing good on, etc. He seemed to really like the idea, and all of a sudden he chimed in with a bunch of things to add to our nightly talk. 

"Sure we can do that. I think it'll be very helpful for both of us....BUT there will be times when you're over my knee for this discussion. When you're not over my knee, there will be eye contact during the discussion. No looking down, or looking away."

Oh boy. What did I get myself into? The whole eye contact thing drives me craaazy. Instantly makes me feel submissive, vulnerable, and extremely cared for all at the same time. There are also certain phrases/words he says, that kind of make me instantly melt. A few times he's said, "You're going to be my good girl, that I know you can be, right?" I swear I must blush every time he says that! Especially when he adds in at the end, "Or else you can expect there to be consequences." Yikes! 


So we started that night, which was last Saturday or Sunday, and we've had a nightly chat every night so far. He also asks for my feedback and always asks if there's anything I'd like to add to the conversation. It has been such a huge relief to have these talks, because it really has helped me stay submissive. I think it's been good for him as well - he seems to really like it every night. I love it for the most part - other than the times it turns into more of a lecture than a discussion! But in all honesty, I look forward to that time of the night - every night. :)


He's also mentioned wanting me to start doing submissive exercises more often. He's been doing some research and trying to find ideas that will work for us. 

The thing is,he's been working a minimum of 10 hour days, usually 12 or 14, and since he's not home until night time, he wants to find ideas that will work for when I'm by myself. That's where it get's tricky.

I'm going to do some research and see what I can come up with, and I thought I'd do a post on it next time I write. In the meantime, I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions? 

Anything you have tried or have heard of others trying for when the submissive isn't with the Dominant? Some kind of submissive exercise, or tasks/assignments? Would love to get some thoughts, and then add it to the post when I make one!

Oh and one more thing to add - because I'm superrrrrrrrr ecstatic about it..... In a little less than 2 weeks we'll be taking a road trip and spending the weekend with 5 other DD couples!!!! FIVE! That means 6 Tihs, and 6 HOHs! I can't even imagine what it's going to be like, but I'm counting down the days! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! 

18 comments:

  1. Wow..( actually a little bird told me about your weekend...well don't be angry with her, she didn't say WHO, she was just so excited) I spent almost a week with 2 other Dd couples I have to tell you it was the most, well not relaxing, but comfortable I have ever felt in my life. They know me so well. They accept me warts and all and there was no secrets or secret lives hidden within. At the risk of sounding cheesy, it was like wearing a comfy sweater the entire time! I am jealous!!!!

    Barney and I aim for daily chats too. The longest we have managed has been about a month without something screwing it up. BUT it helps me tremendously. I think for me it is because he is actively showing an interest in , well me. He tells me he thinks about me/ttwd all the time, but communication isn't his strong suit. These daily discussions help keep our relationship in the forefront of both of our minds. Best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to mention to Colin if he eventually forgets and stumbles. In the long run it is worth the gentle reminder for both of you.

    As for the submission exercises, I don't think I can help you there- this post has some great ideas to keep your husband in the forefront of your mind during the day. I have done many of these myself before I stumbled on this blog, but it is an excellent reminder read

    http://laseyslane.blogspot.ca/2011/10/accepting-leadership-getting-into.html?zx=13747b33e6793e60

    Have fun at the end of the month- pfft like I have to say that. DON'T worry about the end of the month!
    willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's so awesome that you got to spend a week with other DD couples! You're so right - you really can just be yourself and it's such a comfortable feeling!! I'm glad you were able to experience that. :)

      The daily chats sure do help, don't they? I'm glad we started it, it's helped us both tremendously.

      I'll have to check out that post - thank you! :)

      Delete
  2. I think you are handling the whole thing really well. The evening discussions are a great way to stay submissive and to just communicate. Try maybe an extra chore or special treat that he requests from you to make you feel more submissive, or text his regularly - checking in with him and letting him know that you are behaving. But the communication part is an awesome idea, that is one I will have to remember to let Ty know about. I know none of this is like an actual spanking but that will happen soon and Colin will be back to his old spanking self. Or maybe he will learn to use his other arm/hand well enough to warm your bottom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you! I doesn't always feel like I'm handling it all that well, so it's nice to hear that. :)

      Thanks for the tips as well! :)

      Delete
  3. All sounds good, glad you are finding your way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah I always enjoy your post. I read somewhere you can buy on amazon a submissive exercises work book no clue what it entails just thought if share. ~s

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for that tip - that's something I'll have to check out! :)

      Delete
  5. Wow, meeting up with other DD couples sounds exciting!! I'm a little jealous ;)

    My husband is gone for a month, so I've been doing some things while he's gone to stay submissive. I don't know, though. They don't really do a lot for me when he's not here. It's hard for me to feel submissive when, afterward, I'm just going to go run some errands or something lame like that. I would be interested to see what works for you both when Colin is at work.

    Also, I don't have any ideas for your blog name. I had enough trouble coming up with my own blog name!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree ! Wilma I'd love to be able to hang out with other dd/D's couples where we could just be us and not worry . We've been interacting with another D/s couple it's been so nice to talk to others like us..
      Autumn I feel your pain with D being gone it's just a month but it always feels so long were two weeks down now ! Being apart is not fun and trying to maintain who you are adds a level of stress at the same time . Hang in there girly ~ s

      Delete
    2. We're two weeks down, too!! It is hard, and it especially was hard today during our phone conversation (it was one of those "discipline" conversations, where, if he were around, I would be going over his lap). However, we definitely act like newlyweds when he returns--there is a renewed sense of passion every time he goes away and returns (or vice versa) that I really look forward to!

      Delete
    3. Autumn, I know exactly what you mean about it being hard when they're not around - it's just not the same.

      BigDlils, that's awesome that you two have been interacting with another D/s couple! Isn't it so nice to talk to others who just .. get it?

      Delete
  6. I feel your pain on the long work hours. Steve's been working 10 or more hours a day every day of the week. I think he's had 3 days off in the last month. It's driving me bonkers because we can't get any alone time.

    We added submission exercises a couple weeks ago. They are helping to a certain extent. I'll send you an email with some of the ideas we came up with when we were discussing the idea of adding them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh the long work days suck don't they? I'll have to go check my email - thanks a bunch! :)

      Delete
  7. Hi Kenzie, happy to hear you were able to get away together on vacation. Sounds like you had a great time :)

    I'm sorry you aren't getting to spend a lot of time together with Colin's work schedule. I think the daily discussions are s great idea and am glad they are working well for you both.

    As for submission exercise, I found checking in via text helped me. Perhaps wearing a particular item of clothing or yewellery for him?

    So happy for you getting to meet 5 othet couples! A little jealous too :) I would love to meet other couples. Have a fabulous time!:)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Roz! The vaca was great, and very much needed. :)

      Thanks for the tips, sounds like things that could be helpful!

      Delete
  8. WooHoo! I am super excited also!!!!!! As for the submission exercises I haven't a clue, Lee is gone just a couple of days shy of 3 weeks this trip, it can be so difficult. I do find if I keep myself busy it helps not so much with submissiveness but helps with me getting a lil grouchy, mad and/or sad. So excited less than two weeks!!!!
    honey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, that is a long time! Keeping busy sounds like it's something that helps though! And just think - in 10 days we'll all be togetherrrrr... yay! :)

      Delete