Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Reigniting the DD flame

How has it been over two months since my last entry in this blog?!

There have been so many times I've wanted to write an entry, but every time I went to do it, something came up. I finally decided I miss it so much, that I have to make time to get back into blogging.

Things have been pretty crazy since my last entry for both Colin and I. First thing to mention is we added a new addition to our family. Nooo, not a baby yet .. but a kitten! He's a little ball of energy, and can be such a little pain, but he is also so cuddly and sweet, and just so freakin' adorable! He was just jumping all over the keyboard, making it impossible to type, but now he's cuddled up next to me, sleeping, so I finally have the keyboard to myself!

Other thing keeping us busy is work. September through March or April is his busiest time for work, and I actually started working for the same company, so it's now busy for me as well. It's nice because it's not as much of a struggle money wise as it usually is for us, but at the same time, it makes DD/Ds pretty impossible.

To be completely honest, there has been very little, if any, DD type stuff going on with us. Unfortunately, it kind of faded into the background the last few months. It's weird, because part of me really misses it, but another part of me has been kind of relieved in a weird way.

There were times that DD/Ds felt like more work than it was supposed to be. I know it takes a lot of work to keep it going, and it's not always easy, but it just felt like .. too much. I think Colin might have felt the same way. I guess a bit of a break was a good thing for us.

That being said, I was wondering the other day if DD was .. done for us. We hadn't talked about it in a while, and I just didn't know where we stood with it.

I went on vacation with my family for a week, and Colin stayed home for work. Being away really really made me miss it. I no longer felt relieved, or wanted anymore of a break. I really wanted the DD/Ds aspect back in our relationship.

I sort of mentioned it to Colin while I was away, and when I came back he said we'd be having a long discussion about things. Part of me wanted to push the subject, and have the conversation then and just get things back on track, but I decided to leave it in his hands. He was aware of how I felt, and I wanted to see if he would follow through. I trusted him to take care of things.

So I've been patient, he's been insanely busy, but today he told me he made a list of things we need to talk about and we'd be having that conversation tonight, as long as he gets home at a decent hour.

I'm happy that he wants things back on track as well. I think life got in the way, and neither of us really pushed to keep things going - but in the end, I think it was a good thing. I think we'll get back to how we were, and end up being even better than ever in our DD/Ds relationship. We'll find what works for us, and make this lifestyle our own. :)


Has anyone else gone through anything like this before? Where DD or Ds just kind of faded away. No one did anything to mess it up, or to end it, but it just sort of stopped for a while? Were you able to start it back up again?

It's always been hard for me to just let go, and let him take the lead. Usually I end up trying to make things go my way. How I envision it going. This time, I'm letting go. I'm trusting him to be the HOH and to get us where we need to be. I'm anxious, and excited, to see what happens. :)

I'm also going to try my hardest to get back into regular blogging. I really miss reading everyones blogs and seeing how everyone is doing. Going to catch up on that right now!

I also saw that it's almost LoL day!!! Yay! I'm happy that I came back to blogland in time for that. I can't wait. :) All you lurkers out there, get ready with some questions or comments - I'll try to think of something to make it fun!

20 comments:

  1. Welcome back....many have experienced breaks....returning is not always ease, but usually worth the work.
    hugs abby

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    1. Very true, I have to keep that in mind. Thanks abby!

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  2. It's faded away for us a couple times, mostly due to life getting crazy like when Steve was working 70-80 hours a week. For us, it has a tendency to breed a stubborn independence in me and a lack of consistency in him. We have to work to get back to where we were before, but we always manage to do it.

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    1. 70-80? Yikesss!

      I'm right there with you about the stubborn independence thing. As well as the lack of consistency with him. It's not a fun pattern.

      I'm glad you guys managed to get back on track. I'm sure in time, we will too. :)

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  3. I was just asking about you the other night!

    While we have never taken a long break ( more than say 36 hours) we have altered and changed ttwd several times since we started 2 years ago. Some things we found didn't work were tossed out, and then brought back it..LOL. Some things that Barney THOUGHT would make me more submissive we talked about and while initially I didn't balk at the idea, a year later I explained how that particular 'rule' was never about my submissive mindset to me.

    Bottom line for us, WE have changed. Our relationship has changed. We needed to let go of some ideas, things that had a purpose at the time. We needed to discuss things we thought might bring us where we want to go....and mostly I had to take a leap of faith and trust that he was on board....again :)

    There were often times when I thought Barney was not interested in Dd. Especially when he was working 12 hours a day. He has since learned that just as he is not a mind reader, nor am I. He needed to just tell me. " I see you" or ask if I did xyz, or tell me to do xyz. To let me know he was thinking of Dd, of me, of us. There often isn't 'action' because we have a house full of people and we are tired too, but he spends at least a little bit each day talking about it. And that helps tremendously!

    I wish you all the luck in the world Kenzie. Hopefully you will get to a point where it doesn't feel so much like work, but another part of both of you.

    willie

    PS Love the new look!

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    1. Aw, nice to know you were asking about me. :) I hate that I haven't been able to get around as much!

      Ugh I soooo want it to get back to the point where it doesn't feel so much like work. I think we'll get there.. just not there yet.

      You're right about the relationship changing, the people changing, it evolving and growing. It all makes a difference. DD has to change as well.. I'll have to keep that in mind.

      Thank you!

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  4. So nice to hear from you! We just reached our 1 year mark, and for the last several weeks DD hasnt had a strong presence. He will make an occasional comment now and then, but I'm not exactly walking on eggshells. I know if I really stepped over a line, he'd take care of it, and if I need a stress related spanking, I ask and he delivers. I miss the little sexy thrill of being told to do things in "that tone" but at the same time, i'm really busy with all our kiddos so if I insisted he do it more i could potentially over-complicate things. All in all I can't complain because things have been really great for us.

    Can't wait to hear how your conversation went!

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    1. Congrats on the one year! That's an awesome milestone. :)

      I'm so happy for you that things are going so well - I get the whole being too busy for it to feel.. complete. But it seems like things are going very well.. yay. :)

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  5. You know, I can really relate to everything you wrote about, except I don't think of DD having faded away. It is still very present in other actions, but DH and I are also very aware of the fact that we just don't have the energy for that at the moment. So we don't see it as taking a break, and more of figuring out how to still get the feel that is right for both of us while handling all other aspects of life.
    Its hard.

    And enjoy your little kitten, I have always loved having cats!

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    1. I really love the way you put it. I like how you say it hasn't necessarily faded, it's just about figuring it all out.

      Thank you! The kitty is absolutely adorable, I love him like crazy. Except for when I try to get on the computer, and he jumps all over the keys lol.

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  6. Hi Kenzie, it's great to hear from you !:)

    I can totally relate to this post and to you both missing Dd and feeling relieved. Dd has faded away for us a couple of times and that is where we are at the moment, and have been for many months. Rick liked some aspects of Dd but not others and felt he wasn't being himself so we agreed to put Dd on hold for a while. He will show his dominance and put his foot down when things crop up that he feels strongly about though.

    I do miss it, particularly the greater intimacy and closeness yet am feeling ok about it at the same time, if that makes sense.

    Getting back on track isn't easy. I'm glad Colin wants things to get back on track also and hope your conversation goes well. My suggestion would be not to rush things and to take it slowly.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Makes complete and total sense! It's funny how you can really miss something, but also be okay with it when it's missing.

      I agree with missing the intimacy and closeness though - seems like DD really improves on those aspects.

      Great suggestion, thank you. Hope things work out for you both as well!

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  7. Nice to hear from you. Life is like a box of chocolates, just like Forest Gump said, you're never sure where it's going.

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    1. That is very true! Sometimes the best surprises happen then as well. :)

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  8. Welcome back Kenzie...I am sure you two will find your way to what works for you as the people you are now...and it may be totally different from the way it was for the people you were then! Sending lots of positive thoughts.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thanks so much Cat! You're right .. just because it might be different, doesn't mean it's bad. Thanks! :)

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  9. I had a bad problem of expecting things to go my way and it's just a learning curve of how to let that go.

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    1. Yes, it's a learning curve for sure! It's a good way of putting it. :)

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  10. Yes it happens to us because Daddy works in the oil field and there is times he is gone for two weeks at a time. Plus we have a houseful.

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    1. Aw, I'm sorry it happens to you guys too. It's tough!

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