Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Reconnection Spankings & A Fresh Start

Ahhh I've seriously missed this blog! Work and life has just been crazy and unfortunately I haven't had any time to keep up with it. :(

Besides writing in my own blog, I really miss reading how everyone else is doing! I can't wait to catch up over the next couple of days.

Colin and I hit a bit of a rough patch with DD over the past 6 months or so, and I honestly didn't know how (or if at all) we were going to be able to get back into things. Our relationship was still great, but we both knew it was lacking something.

I sort of just accepted the fact that with work going the way it was, and Colin working around 60-80 hours a week it had to take a bit of a back seat. I trusted that eventually we would get back to where we needed to be, but as more time passed, I started to lose hope a little bit. I knew Colin wanted DD, and it wasn't lacking because of interest... but there was just nothing we could really do about it.

Soooo, we sort of let it go for a bit, but then finally decided to sit and talk about it and figure out how to get back on track. He expressed his concerns, I expressed mine, and it really helped us start fresh.

His main thing was that he was over thinking everythingggg. Would the spanking be enough if he got home at 10pm and it was only a 5 minute long thing? Would he live up to the Hoh I needed him to be? Would he be able to be consistent enough? Would I be understanding if things still got in the way from time to time?

For me, it was more about.. will I be able to be submissive after so long? Will I be able to let him take the lead? Will I trust him to take our relationship where it needed to be? Would I be able to be understanding if things did still get in the way, and not get annoyed when it happened?

Basically there were a lot of questions going through our minds that made it difficult to step back into our roles. Once we talked about those things, and were able to be completely open and honest with each other, we were able to figure it out together.


Another thing that helped immensely was that we were lucky enough to have a weekend get together with some old DD friends, while meeting some new ones as well! I honestly can not put into words, how thankful I am to have these people in our lives. They are all SO understanding, helpful, sweet, and most of all genuine. I loveeee when we're all able to get together, and can't wait until the next time! :)

Something that helped us a lot, was that during that weekend, we all discussed some DD questions and were able to listen to different responses, different thoughts, and different perspectives. Honestly, that moment was probably the biggest eye opener for both of us when it comes to our DD relationship. 

Once we got home, Colin decided we needed some role affirmation/maintenance. Starting last night, we'll be having 3 nights worth of spankings. Last night was a great start..other than the fact that I forgot how much that damn paddle hurts!!! I feel like such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I feel closer to Colin than ever. I don't want to jinx it, and I know real life can and WILL get in the way - but I think we'll be able to handle it a lot better from here on out.

He's also mentioned wanting to come up with some assignments/daily activities to keep me feeling submissive. Has anyone else done anything like that? What are some things your hoh has had you do, that helped you feel submissive day to day?

It is seriously a resolution of mine to make more time for this blog, so hopefully I'll be writing again soon. Can't wait to catch up on everyone else's blogs and see how everyone has been. Everyone having a good 2015? Hope it hasn't looked like this picture yet. ;)


28 comments:

  1. Hi Kenzie, I'm so glad to hear you two have talked things through and are working on getting back on track. It's so hard when life keeps getting in the way. Sounds like you were both open and honest and really heard each other. That is awesome :) It's surprising how much more a spanking hurts when you haven't been spanked for a while isn't it lol.

    Glad you had a wonderful weekend with other DD couples too and that it was helpful. Came at the right time :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz! It's been difficult, but it's worth it. :)

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  2. It's good to know that you two are communicating and trying. It must have been so very helpful to spend time and to be able to talk with other DD couples. It really helps a lot to ask questions. Ty has never asked me to do anything really submissive during the day. I text him pretty regularly and let him know what is going on. But I probably would do that no matter what. We have found that we can overthink the whole dd relationship. It is part of our marriage. Life does get in the way but being able to communicate and be aware of each others needs makes the most difference. Hope things stay on track and that the two of you keep on spanking

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    1. Overthinking is a very common occurrence for me! I'm trying hard to let go of that, but it's not easy!

      Thank you! :)

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  3. Great to see you back, Kenzie! :D

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  4. Welcome back Kenzie! Happy to read that you and Colin are reconnecting. How nice that you were able to get together with some other DD couples...that really helps doesn't it. Sending lots of positive energy your way.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thanks so much Cat! It helped a lot to get together with other DD friends.

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  5. I am so Happy to read this post. Lee really never has had me do submissive exercises, I do think they could help though. I am so glad you & Colin are doing so well. Life does get in the way often with us also, those "reconnecting" times can be a PAIN but well worth it. I think it has helped us also to speak with other DD couples, we might do things "our own" unique way but in the grand scheme of things we kinda sorta somewhat want the same things, to feel loved, cherished, needed & wanted.
    love,
    honey

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  6. Kenzie!!! I love you and you know it! Burn and I have came to greatly love and appreciate the support and friendship from other DD couples we have had the privilege to meet. I know first-hand how important those bonds and friends become. Glad you got to meet some new ones!
    So happy that you and Collin have "reconnected" and are back on track! Lean on him and just keep talking and you can't go wrong!

    Love ya BIG much,
    Mandy

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    1. Mandy!! Friends who become family .. so lucky to have you guys!! :)

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  7. Happy 2015, Kenzie, great to see you back!
    Just came across this; https://husdom.com/ds-relationships-ebbs-and-flows/
    seems relevant to your situation.

    Ash

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    1. I'll have to read that .. looks like it'll help. Thanks so much for sharing the link! :)

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  8. Glad you're back, Kenzie. You have some promises to keep from LOL day:)

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    1. Yes I do, and even though it's SUPER late we will still complete that spanking.. promise!

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  9. I have missed you GF!!! I am glad to see you pop up. The Man often sends me assignments when he is away so that I feel connected to him. It's tough sometimes... (ask Cat, she got the call of a ticked off Dana when I was under the wire to get something done..) But its good for me and him.

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    1. Aw, I've missed you toooo! Assignments seem to help a lot.. we've been trying to come up with some! :)

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  10. I like the cartoon drawing "In this corner". The naughty woman who is made to stand in the corner, displaying her spanked bare bottom is more me sexually and erotically a turn on.

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  11. Welcome back Kenzie!

    I think many couples can relate to a great deal of your post. It is funny actually, I read once that 'life doesn't get in the way of Dd because Dd is life" but you know that is a difficult concept to embrace. AND actually it has made me feel inferior in the past thinking about that. I do think now, that my feelings were probably like yours, and Colin's, due to over thinking! Once I started using my 'over thinking skills" to see Barney's side of things more and more, it became okay. Well to a degree! It is all well and good to understand that they work crazy hours, and in our case that children and their issues will also interfere, but that is where the communication comes in ( sounds like you both are actively trying to make 'plans' so communication will be the go to in these situations of life's distractions) to express that we don't feel seen and that we may feel guilty about that considering how hard they work.

    Does Barney give me submission 'exercises' during the day? I suppose one may think that depending on their relationship. I do have a list of things to do around the house, most of which I do have some input in. However I have found for myself, it is up to ME to keep my mindset on him, just as it is up to him to keep his mindset on me.

    I would clean the toilet for example regardless if I was told to or not, but now I look at the task differently. He wants it done. I want to please him. This may seem silly and really not challenging, but it did, and continues to foster more submission in me and dominance in Barney. My lists, and not all the time, and it didn't happen overnight, have changed to more challenging things, mentally, not physically. " Don't add anything to this list without phoning me first" Sounds easy right? NOT. " I only want you to enjoy your children today. Do nothing else" ( but the floor is not that clean). LOL.

    I think when couples say that Dd is just there for them now, not something they think about, what they really are saying is that when it isn't there for a day or so, they trust that it hasn't gone away. This is a peaceful, yet difficult concept to really embrace.

    You'll 'get there' Kenzie. You know how I know? Because you both keep trying. That speaks volumes to me!

    willie

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    1. Thanks for that comment.. I think it really does make a huge difference depending on how you look at it.. and when you look at something as, something that will please your HOH.. it makes it a submissive activity in it's own. :)

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  12. Glad to see you guys are still here and doing ttwd, even if just somewhat. For us it was important to learn that even just having the intention at the end of a long day is better than not at all.

    Kind of jealous you got to meet some DD people in person, that would be so fun.

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    1. Yes.. that intent rather than no intent is super important. Miss you!! :)

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  13. Hey Kenzie -

    Just as a heads up, your Twitter account went on a follow back spree with some weird link attached to it. Don't know if that was actually you or if you got hacked.

    Justin

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    1. Thanks for letting me know!! I appreciate it!

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  14. That's a very good post. As an HOH I do a few regular things to keep my wife in a submissive state of mind. One is actually to show love and honor to her every day; I truly believe that kind of caring helps her to be deeply and fully submissive. I also do weekly reviews of her behavior, in which she reports to me undressed and on her knees, and tells me how her responsibilities are going as well has if her attitude has been submissive and respectful. Lastly, I have her regularly on her knees to please her man in other ways, which I find helps deepen submission too.

    Thanks.

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    1. Thanks for the comment.. seems like a good way for you guys to keep up with the dynamic! :)

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