Well I still don't have anything to say that's completely different than what I used to write about, but I figured who cares. This blog used to help me SO much. It was a way to get my feelings out, a way for Colin to really know how I was feeling, and a way to keep connected with some people. SOO - I might not say the most interesting, or useful things.. but here I am. Back, and ready to start writing again. Writing AND reading.. I need to catch up with everyone and their blogs, and I'm so sorry for being so out of the loop!!
So, what's new with us. Well, we're still going through the struggles of DD. The ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, and all the damn twists and turns that seem to always be there. We've had a few of those break through moments, whether it be a spanking, or just a simple conversation, and I think we've both learned a lot about ourselves and each other. One thing I learned is that I came into this thing with all these crazy expectations. I had done research, watched videos, read books, etc, and had the perfect idea of what DD was supposed to be. What the perfect HOH was supposed to be. Basically how perfect this lifestyle was supposed to be. A few years into this, I feel like the best piece of advice I could give to someone new is to forget the expectations!
Yes, you need to know what interests you. What you like, what you don't like. What you want to explore, what your limits are, etc. BUT don't make up this perfect Dom/HOH in your head and expect your guy to just snap his fingers and turn into him. I'm so extremely lucky that Colin was so open to this lifestyle, and so open to learning all about it. I've come to realize that my perfect HOH isn't someone out of a book, or a video, but instead it's Colin. It's the man that is so willing to figure this out with me, and go through this crazy ride with me. He may not be perfect, I know I'm far from perfect, and we both have A LOT of things to work on, but I wouldn't want anyone else and he's perfect for me!
I'm not saying I don't still have my moments where I just want to give up on DD, and where I'm emotionally drained.. because there are still plenty of those. The difference is that I know eventually we will get there. We will find what works for us. We'll go through a whole lot more twists and turns, but we'll get through them. I've come to really appreciate the gentle Dominance that seems to come so naturally for him. Playing with my hair, holding me, comforting me, really just loving me. That's not to say I don't crave the other side of his Dominance as well - the strict, non lenient type of Dominance, but I know he has that side too. I just need to see it a little bit more. ;)
So basically, I just want to say thank you to Colin for being so willing, so open, and MY perfect hoh. I know I can be difficult and a pain in the butt at times, but just know that I appreciate you so much.
On another note - we got to meet up with some DD friends again for a few nights and I can't even put into words how amazing those get togethers are. The people we've met have turned into family, and I honestly couldn't ask for a better support system. We're able to share vanilla times, have crazy DD conversations, openly talk about spanking, and laugh practically the whole time we're together. I'm so lucky to have met such great people through such a crazy topic.
Sorry for the kinda sappy post, but It's just how I was feeling tonight. I think for the next post it's time for some Dr. Seuss spanking poetry - SOOO what poem would you like to see turned into a spanko version? If you guys have any suggestions, I'll use one of them for my next post!
