Friday, June 21, 2013

Came right out and asked for it!

Figured i'd write a little update, since my last couple posts haven't included any real info on how we're doing.

Colin and I have been pretty good lately. We've hit a few bumps, but i've come to the conclusion that without the little bumps in the roads, and sometimes the major bumps, the good times wouldn't be as special.


He's been in a pretty Dominant/HoHy mood lately, but the only problem is, his shoulder is bothering him even more than usual, so spankings still haven't taken place lately. I'm okay with it though, because I recognize it's not that he doesn't want to spank, or doesn't feel the need to spank, it's just that right now, it's not the best thing for his shoulder.

Obviously spanking is an important thing to me, but in the grand scheme of things, especially in comparison to his shoulder getting better, it certainly isn't the most important.

I think a big reason i'm so content with this right now, as oppose to in the past where i'd be going crazy when it's been so long without a spanking, is because we've had some great conversations lately, and it's really put my mind at ease. The other night, we were out to eat, and all I could think about was how it had been so long since the last spanking. I admit, the first thing that came to my mind was, "hm well what can I bring up that i've done wrong?" Next thought was, "Should I have a bit of an attitude and see if he brings it up?" Thankfully, that thought only lasted for less than a minute. Before the little devil on my shoulder could even finish his sentence, I shut him up and came up with the real solution.


ASK HIM FOR A SPANKING. Tell him I felt I needed one, and then give him the reins. I used to think that by telling him I felt I needed it, it was me being in charge, but I realize now that isn't the case at all. Of course, ideally, and most of the time, I don't want to be the one to bring it up. I want him to know when I need to be spanked, and I want him to do it. BUT there are times when he's not a mind reader, and when I really haven't done a whole bunch of things that warrant punishment, yet I just feel like a spanking could help.


So, I knew I had to ask, now I just had to push myself to do that.

He could tell I wanted to say something, so he kept asking what was on my mind. First I brought up the topic of stress relief spankings, and spankings to just kind of refocus. I told him I had read about it on a few blogs, and I thought there might be times it could be beneficial to us.

Ok, I was getting there, but he still can't read my mind, he doesn't realize that maybe I was trying to see his reaction, before straight up asking for it!

So finally, I just blurted it out.

"I think I need you to spank me."


Right after I said it, I wanted to run as far away as possible, but then after the initial shock of me actually asking for it wore off, I felt such a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

He agreed, and then I pretty much flat out asked;

"Do you think when you feel better, you could spank me? Kind of one of those 'getting back into the swing of things' spankings?"

Of course he agreed, and lately it seems like he's been itching to give me that spanking. He's mentioned a few times that even if his shoulder is bugging him, he's going to do it anyway, but I asked him to please wait until it feels better, because I don't want to be the reason it gets worse. Yes, I need that spanking, but I need him to not hurt while he's giving me that spanking.

So, have I gotten the spanking yet? No.
Am I mad or annoyed about that? Nope.
Does he feel I need that spanking too? Yup!
Am I content with the fact that I know as soon as he's better, i'll be getting that spanking? Yup.
Am I happy that it's in his hands now, and I trust it being in his hands? Completely!

I've also noticed, since I opened up, and asked for it, he's been more dominant in other ways. For example, about ten minutes ago, he had to swing by in between jobs, to drop something off at home. First thing he does when he walks through the door, was tell me to lift my shirt. Just so happened to be wearing a football jersey of his, with nothing else underneath. I backed up at first, and said no way!

What does he say?

"If you're not going to do it, then i'll just do it for you." Pushes me up against the bed, and lifts my shirt right up. Then of course he gets this big ole grin on his face, because he is a guy after all!

It might sound silly, or little, to some people, but to me, he was most certainly asserting his dominance. And that's freakin' hot. :)


Oh, and note to Colin - just because I asked once, don't think i'll be asking all the time now! Still up to you to know when I need one for the most part. And i'm pretty certain you can read me pretty damn well, so you'll know. :)

On another note, we're not going to be alone Saturday, so our submissive Saturday is going to be a bit of a challenge. I've gotten some good advice from a few people (Thanks guys!) but I was wondering if any of you had any ideas? Basically, for submissive Saturday, Colin picks something for us to focus on that day. Something to reaffirm my submission, and his Dominance. It could be corner time, me saying Sir all day, kneeling, etc. The problem is, we won't be alone Saturday. We're going to be around family and other people as well for most of the day. We could possibly have our own hotel room for the night, but it's not a definite. So, what could we focus on this Saturday while we're around others? Something subtle, that only we'd know about, but that would still show my submission and his Dominance.

He told me he might even pick a few things to focus on, rather than just one, so that we have more options. There were a couple ideas people gave us that he really liked, such as Rosie's idea (Thanks Rosie!) of having me pick three articles of clothing to wear, and only being able to wear those three. Another idea he liked, that VW gave us (Thanks VW!) is to ask permission for things I normally wouldn't ask permission for. He thought it'd be good for things like, playing a game on my phone, having soda instead of water, things like that. That way, I could even text him rather than saying it out loud, if the opportunity wasn't there.

If anyone else can think of anything i'd love to hear ideas and pass them on to Colin. :)

We're also going to do our Submissive Saturday post tonight, so that I can just publish it when i'm not home tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.


28 comments:

  1. Yay for asking! It can be hard, but it's definitely the way to go. They aren't mind readers, and the point of it all is to open communication and make us more in tune with each others' needs. Good for you! Good luck with the Submissive Saturday!

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    1. You said it perfectly Rosie! I always try to remind myself that he isn't a mind reader, so I need to speak up! So far it's worked very well!

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  2. Oh this was so sweet to read Kenzie, look at you! Good girl for asking! (That is what DH says when I do it)

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    1. Lol, thank you Julia! Isn't it great when they say those two words? Such simple words, but it makes it all worth it!

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  3. Asking for a spanking can be so hard but the rewards can be so good.

    Hope Colin shoulder feels better soon!

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    1. So true Bonnie, the rewards are so worth it! :)

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  4. Glad things are going well and that you were able to step up and ask for what you want.

    How about having to wear your hair a certain way, or no snacks between meals, normal things that only you two would know about.

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    1. Thanks sunnygirl! I like those, especially the hair one - He likes it too, so thanks for the tip! :)

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  5. Asking can be tough...but I know I have done it before...honesty and communication are always best! Hope his shoulder heals quickly but glad you are able to be patient! ;)

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    1. Honesty and communication really are two of the most important things in DD aren't they? They certainly go a long way! :)

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  6. kenzie, you are too cute. i loved how you came out and asked! i am having a tough time with that but fortunately, i did manage it in a round about way. still trying!

    this was such a darling post, i loved it. :)
    hugs,
    m.

    ps: i am working on the "sir" thing too. it's driving me nuts.

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    1. Aw thank you! :) Good for you for managing to do it as well! It's hard, so I give ya a lot of credit. :)

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  7. Wow good for you for asking, very brave, I still need to work on my courage lol

    I think it's amazing how level headed your are in this situation, well done. You're right it's all about spanking and the little things, no matter how small are the things that keep us going. So keep them in your heart x

    Sorry no ideas but I think I'm too late anyway :( so I hope you have a great submissive Saturday x

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    1. Lol, it is NOT an easy thing, that's for sure! I don't know how I did it, honestly. Thanks so much. :)

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  8. Yay! I'm so glad you asked! The first time is the hardest. It gets easier. I hope his shoulder is better soon and is back in the swing of things. ;)

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    1. I'm happy to hear that it gets easier! Lol, as much as I hope to not have to ask all the time, i'm sure more opportunities will present themselves!

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  9. Thanks for the update Kenzie. He could have you insert a butt plug for thirty minutes for several days.

    Hug,
    Joey

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    1. He likes that idea Joey! It scares me, but it sounds like SUCH a submissive thing - I have a feeling we'll be trying it sooner or later.

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  10. Hi Kenzie,

    This post made me smile. Good on you for asking, it certainly isn't an easy thing to do. You have such a great attitude about the lack of spankings due to his shoulder. It sounds as though he is finding other ways to show his dominance.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. It's not easy! Lol, but it was so worth it! I try to have a good attitude about it, and hopefully it'll be better soon so we wont have to deal with the little speed bumps it brings, lol. Thanks Roz :)

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  11. this is jut a suggestion for you, if there are going to be any meals served at anyone's home while y'all are around family, ask him what all he wants to eat then make that plate for him before you make your own. when he's done eating or needs seconds, wherever you are in your own meal, stop it immediately and remove his plate or get him seconds. then go back to your own meal when you're done

    that's the way we do things when we're at other people's houses for a meal. it does look strange in this modern world (we get joked at a lot but nothing more lol) but it is a good way to personally reaffirm your roles in your relationship and also let him know that he is both loved and respected by you for his role :p

    hope that helps :p

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    1. Oh, I like that one! Very subtle, yet very submissive. Thanks, we'll definitely have to keep that one in mind! :) Helped a lot, so thanks again!

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  12. Yay for asking! I hardly ever ask for one but Daddy normally knows because my "brat level" is a little elevated. Hopefully his shoulder feels better soon and you guys can ride the Dominant and contentment train with a smooth ride ahead.
    <3 Lily

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    1. Lol, Lily, I can relate to that brat level getting a bit higher than usual! Thank you - that Dominant and contentment train sounds like fun. :)

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  13. Asking is really hard. I hate initiating things. But when I finally do it and then get shot down and ignored, it makes me never want to ask again. So I'm glad he was receptive to it and hope you both get a chance to catch up with the spankings soon.

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    1. Oops. Was just trying to edit it to say:

      On the "flip side" there IS something to be said for being TOLD "Now it's time for you to ask for your spanking..."

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  15. Great post Kenzie!! And I can totally see myself choking on the words and then letting them out in a rush and blushing crimson.. lol. I hope submissive Saturday was great.. I've been offline for the most part for a few days so I missed the suggestion window.. although I honestly can't think of any anyway... lol.

    hugs
    Bekah

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