Wednesday, October 16, 2013

OTK Discussions

Once again, it's been a little while since i've been able to write a post, and I hate being away from the blog for so long, but i'm back. :)

I also promise to catch up on reading and commenting asap! I'm sorry i've been mia with that stuff lately, but i'll be catching up soon!

There isn't too much to report here, things have been so/so I guess you could say. DD and D/s aren't super present right now, but it's also not gone - so, hey, that's a plus!

We've both been pretty busy, and pretty stressed lately, but Colin's been doing a pretty good job at making sure DD is still somewhat there. I'll be honest though, I do wish it was ... MORE there. I've been craving a bit more lately, and I think he knows that. Actually, I think he *might* be craving a bit more too, so i'm just trying to leave it in his hands, and see where he takes us.

We had our one year wedding anniversary a couple weeks ago, and it was so sweet. He surprised me with a hotel room, which had a trail of flower petals (the flower petals that were used in the wedding) on the floor, and on the bed. Plus, he went to the same bakery where we got our wedding cake, and got a mini cake, same flavor and all. It was VERY sweet. Right when you think you can never love someone more than you already do, you end up loving them even more. It was definitely a great night.

Aside from that, in the beginning of DD, we were doing maintenance spankings, and then we stopped. Things were so busy, that they'd never happen when they were supposed to, which turned into me getting pissed off, yelling and fighting with him, and it just did no good. We figured it'd be best to just stop it, so we didn't have to deal with the disappointment. Well, it's been a little while since we stopped them, and I talked to him about it recently. I kind of miss it. I miss having that structure, in a sense. We came up with something that he calls, "OTK Discussions." It's kind of like maintenance, but depending on what's gone out in the days leading up to it, it could be something as simple as me laying over his lap, and us just talking. He decided that we'd have one of these, "discussions," every Wednesday, but also whenever he feels it's necessary.

Tonight is supposed to be our first one, but he's still at work and probably won't be home until at least 8 o clock, if not later. I have a feeling it might be put on the back burner, but i'm not sure.

Part of me is so tired and just.. blah feeling today, that I really could care less if it doesn't happen. I kind of think I'd be relieved in a way. The other part of me is saying, "No, it needs to happen. You just feel this way because DD has, once again, taken a back seat."

I don't blame him for the fact that it's not how we'd both like it to be right now, but sometimes I feel like it's not made a priority when it could/should be. It's fine to be too tired from work, or just too stressed once in a while, but personally, I feel like sometimes if he's too tired, he should say, "Oh well, too bad. This is important and I need to MAKE it important."

I don't know, my mind is kind of all over the place right now, as is this blog post. Sorry about that.

I'm trying to just let go and see what happens, but i'm all sorts of confused.

Like I said, I think the fact that it hasn't been great lately, is almost getting me to expect the let down. Again, I want to stress that i'm not mad at Colin for this. I understand shit happens, but I guess i'd appreciate it, if it were made a priority.. just sometimes!

He still is very HOHy at times though. For example, he's been on my butt about saying Sir, a lot more than he used to be. Also, we were out this weekend, at a public event, and he told me he wanted me to leave my hands on my thighs. If I had an itch, or if my phone rang, or if I needed to move my hands, I had to quietly ask him. I thought it might be silly at first, but it really got me to think about being submissive and listening to him. Something so little, turned into a pretty good lesson in submission. Later on in the day, it got to the point where I was doing something, maybe being a bit feisty, and he's just give me that look and put his hand on his thigh. I automatically knew he wanted my hands on my thighs, and I put them there without a thought. It was an interesting day.

So like I said, it IS still there. He IS still being HOHy, but the spanking part, the punishment part, and some other parts have been .. lacking. I trust him to make it a priority, i'm just really trying to stay patient.

In other news, and let me stress how unbelievably exited I am about this, Charlie Hunnam is no longer Christian Grey! Yay, I think. Now, i'll admit, I saw a few photos of Charlie and caught myself thinking, "Wow, ok.. I see it. They could totally change him up a bit from the SOA look, and he could be Christian Grey." Especially in this photo.


If you've been reading this blog, you know i'm all for Matt Bomer, so that's where the Yay part comes in. I've seen a few articles that mention Matt being a front runner, now that Charlie is out. I think the fans and the movie makers might not see eye to eye on this, so I won't hold my breath, but I WILL cross my fingers! I also have read that he was offered the part first, but turned it down. No idea if that's credible or what, but I can believe that he would turn down the offer. I think any serious actor would, to be honest. As hot as some of those scenes are in the book, lets face it, the writing is a joke. If the movie is much like the book, it could very easily, turn whoever portrays Christian, into a joke as well.

What do you guys think?

And just because he's total eye candy, I can't let this post be done without a picture of Matt Bomer, now can I?

32 comments:

  1. welcome back! I hope you two figure it out and soon. frustration is not fun. I've been waiting for you to mention 50 Shades. I hope Matt as well.

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    1. Thank you! I hope we figure it out soon as well! Lol. Unfortunately, I don't think Matt Bomer will be Christian Grey, but he'll always be Christian Grey to me. ;)

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  2. I can completely understand how life gets in the way. At least y'all are communicating about it. You'll find your way soon enough. I do love the little game he came up with. That would definitely put me back in my place.

    As for Mr.Grey.... Isn't Bomer gay? ( not that there's anything wrong with that) I just couldn't get into the sex scenes knowing that. But I am anxious to see who they pick!

    xo

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    1. Matt Bomer is gay, that's a big reason a lot of people couldn't see him playing the part. As for me, I have no problem imagining him straight - he's just so damn gorgeous, lol.

      Yes, the little thigh thing did help, so i'm glad we did that. :)

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  3. It'll take a while to find your equilibrium but i can so remember feeling anxious n disappointed wen i felt the D/ was missing. Talking is good. I had a nice chat session about our D/ just ystrdy.

    And im rooting for bomer or somerhalder. Im glad there's a change now. N cant wait to see who steps up to the plate! Hugs.

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    1. Sorry, why is it that all my

      "D/ s" have the "s" missing!

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    2. Yes, anxious and disappointed are two great ways of explaining it! I know it'll take time, so i'm just trying to stay patient. :)

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  4. You'll get through it. It's a journey, not a sprint as someone else has said before.

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    1. I like this advice, I have to keep it in mind. Thank you!

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  5. It seems at times Tyler is on top of saying sir and paying attention when he's not spanking as much...love hands on hips idea...Matt Bomer is def Christian Grey material...Tyler had said the lead guy on sons of anarchy was on the Grey lost..I can't think of his name but he's the son running things now

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    1. He is Christian Grey material, right?! He's gorgeousss. Unfortunately, I don't think we'll see him playing Mr.Grey. One can dream though, right? :)

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  6. Hey Kenzie :)

    Been away myself for a while now, so you're one of the first blogs I'm reading, and I totally get you. Life gets in the way and dd on a back burner. The longer it goes without the physical part, the more I'm inclined to pull away and not submit. It's such a balancing game isn't it?? I did like the hand on your lap idea, it does help keep the mind set :)

    Oh my, Mr Gray, what can I say. I just think the film will be awful, with second rate actors and weak sex scenes. I really hope it won't, as either way ill be watching it lol

    Happy anniversary by the way, how sweet was Colin :)

    Hope you get what you need, an otk discussion sounds good to me x

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    1. Ah yes, i'm exactly like that! The longer it goes without it, the more I pull back. It's such a roller coaster at times! It's worth it though.

      Yes, I agree with the film being awful, maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised? Let's hope so!

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  7. Happy anniversary! I'm lad you ad a great evening and how sweet of Collin to think of the little things.

    I definitely like that picture of Charlie. I have to agree with Missy, I'm afraid the movie is ogoing to suck. I will still watch and hope for the best.

    It does get hard when life gets so busy. But try not to worry or over think it too much, this little bump won't last forever. You know that it must be on his mind also if he still has you do little submission exercises.
    Kim

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    1. Thank you! He's good with the little details!

      I'm with you and Missy on that one - I don't have high hopes for the movie!

      You're right, it's nice that he does the little submission exercises, because it reminds me it's on his mind as well. Thank you. :)

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  8. Hi Kenzie,

    Happy Anniversary! How sweet of Colin. I'm sorry life is getting in the way, but it's great that Dd is still active in a lot of ways. Hang in there!

    I'm in the Matt Bomer camp too and sadly have to agree with Missy and Kim.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. I don't think Matt Bomer will ever do the movie, so we'll just have to keep imagining him as Christian in our heads. ;) And thank you!

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  9. Congratulations on your anniversary! It's nice reading about you and your husband it reminds me of when StrongMan and I married. We also started DD right when we got married. One time I went on a trip and when I came home StrongMan had rose petals all over our house leading to the bedroom too. Ahhh, memories....

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    1. Aww, how cute! They can't be real awesome at times can't they? ;) Thank you!

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  10. Ohh happy anniversary. How lovely is Colin? Not every man would consider all those little details, same flower, same bakery....
    Life is full of those peaks and valleys. Keep on hiking!

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    1. I consider myself lucky when it comes to him doing those things for me. I love him... a lot! :)

      I will keep on hiking, let's just hope it's not always uphill. ;)

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  11. Happy anniversary.
    I noticed that not only has Charlie gone, but the script writer has been changed too. Me thinks this film will never get made at this rate!

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    1. Oh no, I didn't notice that changed as well! It's going to be one of those movies where the release date gets pushed back ten times, and in the end, it won't even be worth it. Blah!

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  12. Happy Anniversary. Thank you for sharing. I do not think that the TTWD journey is ever a straight line, but one with ups and downs. Good luck.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. Thanks Joey! It is certainly not a straight line, lots of ups and downs. A straight line would be pretty boring though, wouldnt it. ;)

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  13. Well, I can't comment on the movie because I haven't read the books. That aside it sounds like life has been busy & stressful & interfering with DD bliss. I think we've all experienced that. Your OTK Discussions sound interesting though. I hope it goes well and scratches that itch. ;)

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    1. Thanks Grace! It unfortunately got pushed back, because of stupid old work. It'll happen soon though, and i'm hoping it does scratch that itch! :)

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  14. Congratulations on the one year mark! It's a process and it will keep getting better.

    And hmmm, you know how some couples have that "list" of celebrities they'd each get a free sex pass for? I wonder if I could get a free spanking pass list instead. I'll take Matt Bomer and Gilles Marini for the win please. Yes, that is my final answer.

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    1. Thank you! It is certainly a process!

      That's so funny that you mention the list. I was actually going to do a post on a spanking list, rather than a sex list.

      I'll have to look up Gilles Marini, but Matt Bomer would foo shoo be my number one choice!

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  15. Hey Kenzie :) happy late anniversary!

    I couldn't relate to the SOA guy being In 50 shades either. I like either the Matt Bomer or Somerholder (sp) guy.. But I really like a guy from The Client List! Colin Something or other. You'll have to google him. :) lol :)

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    1. Thanks Elle! Ahh the guy from the Client List is HOT! I'd love him as Christian!

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  16. Happy belated anniversary! Okay, super belated! :-)

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