Monday, January 27, 2014

The Dom With The Palm.

Sooo I'm kinda sorta supposed to be doing some chores right now, but I'm kinda sorta bored of the chores and wanted to write something fun.

Colin texted me this morning and told me to check our app to see what he added for today. I answered with, "Yes, Sir." He then said:

"Good girl. Let's start this week off right and you will be rewarded, but the minute you act up or not do something I tell you to do, you will be punished. Do you understand me?"

Geez. Mr. HOH is back! I checked the list and decided I'd get most of it done later on in the day. I went to the store, got stuff for dinner, because I'm now obsessed with our crockpot! I love having dinner ready for him when he gets home, it makes me so happy to do that for him. So anyway,  I did that and then decided to watch a bit of tv. I got pretty into my show and ended up watching a few more episodes than I should have.

My phone went off and I saw a text from Colin.

"I don't see anything checked off the list. You don't want to disappoint me baby."

I quickly got up, checked the list, and was able to do a few things and cross them off. It was too late in the day to do two of them, and there are two others I haven't done yet. I just realllllyyy don't feel like vacuuming or doing laundry right now. I mean he never reallllyy told me I had to get them all done, so I'm hoping what I did do will suffice? Wishful thinking, I know. Having said that, I really should be vacuuming, but blogging just sounds like so much more fun right now!

Soooo - I haven't done any Dr. Seuss lately and I figured now is as good of a time as ever. So, rather than "The Cat in the Hat," here is:

The Dom With The Palm!

The sun did not shine,
I had no time to play,
I had chores to get done,
On this cold winters day.

The tv was calling,
I sat down for a few.
And I said, hmm hold on,
Didn't I have something to do?

Too tired for chores,
Should I be making a call?
I'll just sit on the couch,
and do nothing at all.

So all I did,
was sit sit sit sit.
Oh no, he will not like this.
Not one little bit.

And then
something went BUMP!
How that bump made me jump!

I looked!
Then I saw him, I couldn't respond!
I looked,
and I saw him.
The Dom with the palm.
Standing there staring,
looking a bit like king kong.

I know you were tired,
and not feeling well.
But your chores are not done?
No, I will not yell.

I know a few games we could play,
said the Dom.
I have a few tricks, 
Said the Dom with the palm.
A lot of good tricks,
I will show them to you.
Your bottom will not mind 
not at all if I do.

And poor little me,
did not know what to say.
I shouldn't have sat on the couch
all damn day.

So a voice said, no no!
Make that Dom go away!
Tell that Dom with the palm,
you do NOT want to play!
He should not be here.
He should not be about.
He should not be here
while your bottom is out!

Now, now - have no fear!
Have no fear, said the Dom.
My tricks aren't that bad,
Said the Dom with the palm.
Why, we can have
lots of fun if you wish.
fun with a game, that I call,
swish swish.

Oh no! Not swish swish!
I know that sound.
No way, not swish swish!
I don't want my pants down!

Have no fear said the Dom.
I will take them down fast!
panties down too,
no not at half mast!
With a brush in one hand,
you just stay calm,
We'll handle this now,
Shhh said the Dom.

Look at you.
Look at you now,
Said the Dom
your bottom all red,
from the sting of my palm.
I will go grab a belt,
you better obey,
now it's off to the corner,
red bottom on display.

Then he came to the corner,
Said, my what a view,
next time pick your chores,
or a cane of bamboo.

And in that moment,
I did not know what to say,
Should I tell him, yes Sir?
Be good and obey?

Next time do my chores?
What should I do?
Well what would YOU do,
if your Dom asked you?

This story ended up being wayyyy longer than I thought it was, so I left out some parts in the middle to make it a bit shorter.

My Dom with the TWITCHY palm is on his way home now, and I just told him that most of the chores were done, but not all of them.

After hearing a mini lecture from him, and receiving a text that says, "I don't want any hesitation. When I say get over my knee, DO IT,"I'm wondering if this poem will resemble real life at all when he gets home tonight .. eeek.

I sweetly replied to that text with a, "Yes Sir." This followed:

"I'll see you when I get home."
"I love you lots and lots and lots!"
"That's not going to help that bottom of yours."

Wish me luck!

You can say that again!


  1. Wow kenzie that poem resembles what you did today.......your bottom is in for it, maybe I will have you pick from the naughty jar tonight. :)

    1. Damn naughty jar! We need to get rid of that thing! ;)

  2. O Kenizie,
    I know it was accident, time gets away from us, he really shouldn't make such a fuss,
    tell him dinner is almost ready then quickly slip on a teddy,
    then light some candles & slip in the bed, then maybe your bottom won't get RED!

    1. Hahaha. LOVED this! Unfortunately it didn't work too well, lol. It was worth a shot though! ;)

  3. I love the poem.. LOVE it.. and well... bummer about the chores. I will cross my fingers... and rub my butt... in commiseration...

    1. Lol aw thanks Dana! I did plenty of butt rubbin myself. ;) Glad you liked it!

  4. I love the poem - but anon tells me you're in for it.

    1. Thank you! Yes I was in for it .. but .. it was worth it. Shh. ;)

  5. I hate it when there are just too many episodes available and they end them so there is no way you can't not watch the next one!

    1. Right?! Ugh it's such a pain in the butt! They know how to get ya, lol

  6. Loved the poem Kenzie! Oh dear, time does run away with you sometimes doesn't it? Praying for your butt!


    1. Thanks Roz, so glad you liked it! :)

  7. Your poem was adorable. I hope you didn't get in *too* much trouble! I'm currently reading your blog instead of doing stuff from my list of things that must get done. I suddenly want to get one more load of laundry done before bedtime! :P

    1. Haha, thanks Alex! Glad you liked it. Hopefully you didn't read the blog for too long, and decided to get that last load of laundry done! ;)

  8. Oh I love Dr Seuss! This one is the best yet! Definitely time well spent - you can tell Colin that from me - on second thoughts, better not, we both know it won't help!

    I never get in the predicament you are in because I go to work and he's at home. I have more of a me coming home and talking to him like he's an employee, scenario, and you can imagine how that one ends up!


    1. Oooh, doesn't sound like it ends well for either of us! ;) Lol. Aww thanks for the compliment, so glad you liked it! I think it was my favorite one to write so far.

  9. Well that poem had me giggling quite a lot! Very cute!

    Regarding your upcoming red bottom... Uh oh!!! Maybe next time do all your


    1. Thanks Sara! Glad it made ya laugh!

      I think I'll take your advice and make sure to do that next time. :)

  10. LOL Kenzie...Enjoyed the poem. Saw Colin's response! Hope your tush doesn't pay too high a price.


    1. Lol thanks Cat! Ehh, is it bad if I say it was totally worth it? ;)

  11. Great poem Kenzie, just think you should have saved it to publish on a day when you have been extra good xx

    1. Now that is advice I should have taken! Lol thanks Janey. :)

  12. Clever poem. Good luck with twitchy palm.

    1. Thanks DelFonte! Lol that luck is certainly needed with twitchy palm!

  13. That's your best Dr. Seuss yet, Kenzie! That's gotta be worth...something.

    1. Aww thank you! It should totally be worth something! Lol

  14. Ha! Love the revised Dr. Seuss! The app intrigues me, but at the same time I'm just not sure I really want to go there. ;) Hope your bottom didn't end up *too* red.

    1. Grace, I'd say not to go to the app unless you're SURE you want to, lol. It can be a pain, that's for sure! :) Glad ya liked the poem.

  15. Well, that poem was just genius, IMHO!

    Hi Kenzie -- so glad I found your blog! Looking forward to getting to know you better.....and to reading more of your poems :)


    1. Aww, you're too sweet! Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it. :)

  16. Perfect poem, probably fits many of us. I know it fits me, unfortunately.

    1. Thanks Blondie! It fit me pretty well in the moment, thats for sure. ;)

  17. I love the poem! Looks like Colin has his HOH hat back on! Good luck!

    1. Thanks Kim! He certainly found the HOH hat!

  18. Mmmmhmmmm I'm thinkin' I know exactly how all your day went.
    Just love your creativity doll! If only those chores didn't interfere with our fun.
    Big hugs! ~Cat.

    1. Lol, you're too funny. Mmmhmmm. I'm glad you liked the poem .. damn chores interfering with our fun, we're going to have do something about that! :)

  19. Maybe don't let him see your post today, or else it might add flame to the fire. LOL Very cute poem though. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

    1. Lol Es May, he saw it .. and it added some flame to the fire for sure. ;) But it's okay, I loved writing it. :p

  20. I love the poem, it made me giggle...

    I am curious about the app...I KNOW Gud would be curious...which app is it??

    As for the rest...all I can do is shake my head... while I was reading, I kept saying, "Get up and get busy!"..."Is she going to get done?"..."What are you thinking??"..and then I say Anonymous and my heart sank for you... :) I haven't read blogs in a while and this one was a good one to come back to...

    Missed reading... Hugs...

    1. Aww thanks for the kind words. You're sweet. :) Lol, if only I heard those words as I was writing. ;)

      As for the app, it's called wunderlist. It's a pretty effective little app!

      Glad you're back to blogland!

  21. I am doing the same thing....reading blogs instead of doing chores. But after reading this post I think I'll go do the laundry now!


    1. In the end, I could argue I did a good thing by motivating others to get their chores done. ;) Lol thanks River! :)

  22. Loved the poem. That creativity and talent should count for something!

    1. Aw thanks Tomsrose. :) Glad you liked it!

  23. Don't you love to hate to live the way they make sure yo know you're in for a punishment , I guess that's kind if the sexy part lol keep posting, great to read!

    1. I swear I proofread before posting lol. Plz forgive my momentary inability to spell :) hopefully you knew what I meant lol