You had questions, I have answers! :)

Ok.. so I didn't exactly reach my goal and get back to blogging by Friday, buuuut it is Monday, so I'm glad I was able to get back here today. :)

I started a 30 day diet this past Wednesday, and I'm so excited! It was tough at first, still is tough from time to time, but the results make it SO worth it! 9 lbs so far! Yay! Basically two meals are shakes (which taste like cake by the way) and then you have a 600 calorie dinner with healthy foods. You have to drink a ton of water, and there are some little snack things a couple times throughout the day to make it easier.

I'm also going to start getting to the gym this week, so hopefully the results will end up even better!

The best part is that Colin is going to do it with me!!! It will make it so much easier for both of us to be doing it together. Plus we have some little incentives for each other to make it more fun.

Other than that, DD is going okay. We still have the ups and downs, but it's better than it was before. He's been great so far helping me stick to the diet, now I just need to see a little more sterness/less leniency. ;)

Aside from that, not much else is new. Thought I'd take the time to answer some questions I got on the last post. Rather than answering individual comments, I'll just answer them here.

DelFonte asked:

Where we are with DD/TTWD and if we're planning any exciting holidays.

I somewhat answered the DD question above, but we're doing pretty good. We have some work to do, and life is certainly still getting in the way, but I'd say we're in a good spot right now. As for holidays, nothing too soon unfortunately, but hopefully a fun get together in the summer with some DD friends! I need a vacation asap.. somewhere warm!!

Blondie asked:

Do we see a time (or age) when the DD is not necessary, and/or the spankings end?

I say... no way, lol. We'll be one hundred years old and he'll still be carrying a wooden spoon in his back pocket. ;) I think (and hope) it will always be a part of our marriage. We're fine without it, but I just think we're so much better with it.

Colin said: I haven't thought about it much. I can't see the spankings ever ending, and I always think DD will be there. There may be ups and downs, or it might slow down, but I don't see it ever going away permanently. More challenges will come up as we get older, kids, etc, but it'll still be there.

Julia asked:

What I thought of the 50 Shades movie.

Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised and can say I enjoyed it. There were parts that pissed me off, and the main actress annoyed the crap out of me for the most part, but the actor who played Christian was wayyy hotter than I thought he was before the movie. It was fun to go see something different, that somewhat shows (even though it's in a skewed messed up way) spanking, and a D/s kind of thing. It annoys me that they pretty much say Christian is the way he is because of a messed up childhood, but all in all.. it was good entertainment and I'm excited for the second one!

Leigh asked:

When is life going to get back to normal so I can visit more often?

Lol, hopefully SOON! ASAP! Work is slowing down, but other things are picking up, so it'll be a tough balance, but I think I'll have more time to come visit than I have lately! :)

SheandHim asked:

What is one place I'd love to shop if money wasn't an object? And, what is my favorite kind of implement for play?

The shopping question is not fair.. I can't pick one place!! Lol, Colin will tell you I'm a ridiculous shopper. I especially love makeup and clothes, so if money wasn't an object I'd so crazy at either Sephora or Urban outfitters!

As for the implement.. I love the belt. There's just something really sexy about it!

Roz asked:

What direction would I like to see my dynamic take, and who is someone I admire and why?

I'd love for ttwd to be present more often. When it comes to little things such as deciding where we eat, or what movie we're going to see. I guess I'd really like for him to have more of a say in every day things. I guess just more Dominance from him, and more submission from me to sum it up. :)

As for who I admire? My parents. I'm so lucky to have such amazing, supportive, loving parents. Honestly, I can't even put into words what they mean to me. Also, Colin. He works so hard, is so supportive, loyal, caring, and just an amazing man who I have so much respect for.

Thanks everyone for the questions! There's still a little bit time left in March, so if anyone has any other questions for either of us, feel free to ask. :)

I see your Dominance, but I need to FEEL it.

I should probably start this blog off with a warning of some sort. Basically this post is going to be all over the place. I have a few topics I want to write about, but instead of writing separate blog posts, I figured I'd try to fit it all into one - without making this an hour long read. :p

First thing to start with, is that Colin is healing pretty well. He has some pain here and there, but all the checkups have been great, and he starts his physical therapy in a few days, so that should help a lot! When it comes to DD/Ds during his recovery, it started off really well. We did things to keep it alive, and right before his surgery I actually got a very serious spanking which kept me in line for a pretty long time! I've gotten a little teary before from a punishment, maaaybe even came close to crying - but this spanking changed that for sure! The spanking was for some serious disrespect, and towards the end he started talking about how what I say can really hurt him. Yikes. The lecture really hit me.. (at the same time the implement was hitting me by the way) and I just knew I wasn't going to be able to hold back the tears.

Colin was asking me questions during the lecture, and when I stopped answering with "yes Sir," and became quiet rather than answering his questions, he could tell I didn't want him to know I was crying. He gave me a few more smacks with it, and then held me for a while. He told me I don't need to hide the fact that I'm crying, and that it might help me to just let go and get it all out. He held me for a while, I cried, we talked, and it was the most effective punishment I've received. Sooo, that certainly helped with my behavior. For a while. 

We also did a few activities that have really helped us maintain our roles. We filled out a limit list together, we each wrote down what we think the other does well in their role, and what they could work on. Another one we did, was to write down 5 things each of us would ideally like from the other on a regular basis. 

He also decided that I'm going to start writing a daily diary. Something to keep track of how many waters I drink a day, if I do my chores or not, why I didn't get something done, and just my overall feelings that day. Just a quick little entry each day. We'll then go over it at night, during out nightly discussions.

I went to the store and bought a notebook on Monday - but I've yet to write in it. I'm not sure why, but I'm losing my submissiveness big time this week.

There hasn't been much follow through from Colin lately either. I notice that during our nightly discussions, for the past two weeks, he's been telling me I need to do better with drinking enough water throughout the day. I'm supposed to drink a minimum of 4 bottles a day, and I've been drinking one .. maybe two. In my mind I'm kind of like... "ok, well if I haven't been drinking enough water, and you've been reminding me every night for about two weeks.. maaaaybe it's time to do more than just talk to me about it?!?!" I've SEEN his dominance plenty lately, but I haven't FELT his dominance in a while. To me, there's a difference.

We talk, and do activities, and discuss things, BUT there isn't much reinforcement. I've pointed this out to him a few times, and he always says it's going to change, but to be honest - it hasn't. In my mind, that means it's not going to. I know he has a ton on his mind, and he's stressed, and I completely get that. But that doesn't make it any easier.

I don't want to come off as whining or complaining either, so I apologize if it comes across that way - but I needed to vent a bit. ;) So yea, that's where we are right now, but I'm hoping we'll get back on track soon.

Next thing I wanted to mention, was that we had the amazing opportunity to get together with 5 other DD couples about a month ago for a whole weekend, and it was SO much fun. I'm so lucky to have met such great, down to earth, real, fun, people that "get" the whole TTWD thing. Colin and I were able to be ourselves, and not hide this aspect of our lives around others. The only downside to that? Other HOHS give very evil presents to each other, and I got into a bit of trouble one night so Colin decided it was a great time to try out some new implements! All I can say is OUCH! Oh, and they weren't exactly silent implements either. So yes, it was heard by others. Grrr. ;) But like I said, it was such a great feeling to be ourselves, and be around others who understand. I'm very thankful. :)

The last thing I wanted to mention, was that the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer came out today! I wasn't looking forward to it at all, but the trailer changed my mind just a little bit. I still don't like the female lead, but I have to say that seeing the trailer made me see the actor who plays Christian, in a different light. I didn't think he'd be "Christian-y" at all .. but after seeing the trailer, I'm starting to see it a bit. Have you guys seen it? If not I'll put it up in this post - watch it and let me know what you think. :) Will you be heading to the movie theater when it comes out next year?

Fifty Shades official leads!

Ahhh say it isnt so!!

Just read that Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson have officially been announced as the lead roles in the Fifty Shades of Grey film(s)

Personally I do not see it at all! She just doesnt look the part and he is NOT Christian to me. Tarzan? Maybe. Christian Grey? HELL NO.

Ill have to go watch Matt Bomer shake it in Magic Mike and pretend this news isnt true!!

How about you guys? I know a lot of people like him so im curious to see what everyone thinks! :)

Just sayin ;)

"It hurts to sit," isn't just a saying..

If you're a spanko, you most likely know the saying "it's going to hurt to sit."  I always thought it was just a saying .. how can it actually hurt to sit?  That has to be a little bit exaggerated, right?

Um. Wrong.  Let's just say, Colin stepped up to the plate on Saturday, and it STILL hurts a little bit to sit this morning.

In one of my posts, I wrote about how I had a bit of a meltdown with him the other day, and said some not so nice things.  Think a lot of F words, rude comments, and calling him not very nice things.  I hate that it got to that point and that I talked to him the way I did, and acted the way I did, but this weekend he certainly took care of it.

Saturday morning I was in a little bit of a mood, and he noticed me saying Fu** a few times.  Not directed at him this time at all, but still.  Eventually after he let a few slip, he gave me one last warning and said not to say it again.  I was able to keep it in control for a while, but eventually, it slipped out again.  Unfortunately for me, we had some hot sauce in the house, and he thought it was a good time to try out that particular punishment.  He only put one drop on my tongue, and at first it didn't do anything, but then after a minute or so, it was not a pleasant feeling.  I'm not a fan of spicy food, especially not hot sauce.  I thought he'd at least let me have some water right after, but that wasn't allowed for a little bit - so he made his point.  Pretty sure I managed to not say it again.  

Saturday night came, and he decided it was time to deal with the issue from the other day.  I think he really wanted to make a point with this one, and kind of set the tone for the whole DD relationship.  If that was the case, he accomplished his goal times ten.  Wooden hairbrush, bathbrush, and strap.  I think that's all that was used.  Maybe the wooden paddle or wooden spoon for a bit?  Honestly I don't remember.  He was even really good with the lecturing this time.  Reminding me why I was being punished, and how I need to work on those issues or this will happen over and over again.  If I tried to block it with my legs, he'd pay close attention to the sit spot for a few swats .. honestly, I was really surprised at how much he stepped up.  (And at this point, I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me for wanting this in the first place.)

One issue we need to figure out, is that when he uses wood for too long, it seems to cause some bruising, so we're trying to find other implements to use, so the spanking is able to last longer.  We have a strap (which I swear is the most evil thing out there!) and i've heard a few things about the cane, but we haven't tried that out.  We ordered a cane kind of thing from cane-i-ac, but I don't think we ordered the right thing because I could barely feel it.  We're both okay with a little bit of bruising, and figure it's probably inevitable in the beginning, but we don't want to break the skin or cause any bleeding, and were nervous if we used wood for too long, that might happen.  Does anyone know if that's the case if you use just one wooden implement for too long?  Would it help if we switched it up with bathbrush/spoon/paddle .. or since it's all wood, would that not matter?

Anyway, the spanking ended with 20 (i think?) quick, yet hard ones with the strap, and by the second or third one, I had my head buried in the pillow, because he got tears out of me.  I was shocked.  Didn't think i'd actually cry, but there were certainly tears.  I was trying to hide that from him for some reason, but he knew.  It wasn't full out sobs, but I think if it had gone on a minute or two longer, it would have been.  It was also from the lecturing and him basically letting me know that I disappointed him.  

Ouch.

Lesson learned.

 He was nice enough to go to the store and get some moisturizing lotion afterwards, which seemed to help a little bit.  Sunday afternoon we went out to eat, and the drive to the restaurant nearly killed me.  Of course he threw in a few little remarks.

"What's wrong?  Feeling a little sore?"

"Nope .. not me."

"Oh, then I guess next time it'll have to be harder?"

"Okay, okay .. YES i'm sore."

"Good. :)"

We also decided that we'd have maintenance every Sunday, and I thought since it was a pretty hard spanking on Saturday, that we would skip it this weekend, but nope.  Thankfully it was only a few minutes, and mainly with his hand.  That's all it needed to be really.  When I said I wanted him to be consistent, I didn't expect this. :p  He even bought himself this shirt at the mall.  I thought it was pretty funny.  He knows I love Christian Grey, so it was cute.  We also saw something called, "Spank & Soothe."  One cream is to put on before a spanking, and it supposedly adds a tingling sensation.  The other one is a soothing type of feeling.  Not sure if they'll do anything, but I thought it was pretty funny that they were being sold at a store in the mall.

We also decided that we're going to give DD Boot Camp a try.  I found and bought the book online, and we both think it sounds like a really good idea.  We won't have the time to be alone for a whole weekend right away, but in a couple weeks we'll be trying it out.  We're both really happy with where we're at right now.  We know it's going to be full of ups and downs, but we're willing to work through that.  As of right now, he's being consistent and i'm really trying to listen, let go, and be submissive with certain things, so i'd say we're on a good track for the time being.  I'm happy with it, even if I did wake up to this text this morning..

Colin: Don't forget what you have to do today, or you'll be in the corner.

So now i'm off to do those things, because the corner is one place I don't want to be. :)

Also, with March being almost over, and us still being new here - if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask, and we'll answer them in a future post.  Whether it's here, or email me at ddcouple26@gmail.com  We'd love to answer some questions before question month is over. :)

Not questioning him anymore. Plus a little bit of Christian Grey.

  *What I thought was going to be a quick little update, turned into a freakin novel, so if you'd rather just skim through, feel free.* :)

Had a long talk with Colin last night/today about ttwd and how to make it work.  He came home last night and I immediately was waiting for him to bring up the things I hadn't done.  In the wayyy beginning of this, i'd do little things to "test him" in a way, and I didn't want him to think me not doing a few things I was supposed to, was me testing him.  I've learned that as much as I have a tendency to want to push a little bit here and there, to see if he'll stick to things, it's probably the worst way to go about it.  I don't want to play head games, or purposely do something wrong - not the way I want this to go, i'd rather just be open and honest with him and also just trust him 100 percent.  Trust that he doesn't think this is stupid, and trust that he will step up to the dom-plate when it's necessary.

So anyway, when he came home and was complaining about how tired he was, yet wanted to watch an hour long show before bed (yet never so much as mentioned the rules or how I did with them - let alone any kind of consequence) I started to get a little annoyed.  In my head, that translated to:

"Ok.. well.. actions speak louder than words, and if he says there will be consequences, but doesn't SHOW any consequences, he must not really want this."  I guess for me, it was just such a hard, emotional thing for me to bring up ttwd/dd/ds/spanking, that sometimes I automatically go into that "he thinks this is stupid mode."  Last night was one of those nights.  I ended up having a little bit of a melt down, and kind of lost it.  Said some not so nice things, and went in the other room .. lightly slamming shutting the door of course.  I sat there for a bit, so annoyed at him for not sticking to the consequences, and then I get a text from him.  *He's right next door, in the other room, but I had told him I needed space for a bit.*  The text made me pretty much speechless, which is pretty rare for me.

Text from Colin: "Maybe you should go read your blog again."  And then he copied the part where I wrote about how I just need to give in and not just automatically run away from the situation, slamming the door as I go.

For some reason, that meant a lot to me.  I hadn't known he read the blog entry at that point, so it just showed me that he really does care, and he really does WANT this.  So anyway, after a long exhausting night of being upset and talking it out, we got to a pretty good place.  His whole thing was that he was so tired from working all day (the man works like a horse, and I respect the hell out of him for it) so he thought i'd need some 30 minute long spanking to prove he was going to step up.  I explained how that's not the case, and honestly all I needed from him, was something as simple as:

"So the rules weren't exactly followed today were they?  You're lucky, because i'm exhausted tonight, but that doesn't mean this will go unnoticed.  We'll deal with any punishments this weekend."

Sure, I think some spankings/punishments should happen on the spot, if possible, BUT I totally understand that life gets in the way and it can't always happen like that.  As long as I know he's not just all talk, i'll be fine.  So i'm done questioning his dominance, i'm done questioning whether or not he thinks this is stupid, and i'm done questioning whether or not he'll stick to punishments.  It's in his hands, he has my trust, I have faith in him, and that's that.  I say I want him to step up to the plate with him being dominant, well now it's time for me to step up to the plate when it comes to being submissive.  We both need to put effort into it, not just him.

Communication really is the key.  He told me that we'll be dealing with some of the issues tonight, which will include spanking, but the poor guy is still working, so if he's exhausted when he gets home, I want to let him know that if it needs to wait, it's fine by me.  I trust it will happen when he wants it to happen, and that's all I need.  Now, if he let it go for good, that'd be a different story.  I hate the way I talked to him last night, and the things I said to him, and honestly I do deserve a spanking for it - something he will not hear from me very often ;) - so as long as he handles it, rather than forgetting about it completely, then we'll be fine.  I'm starting to really believe this whole DD thing can work with us.  :)

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

And a video that I found today, which I thought was pretty funny .. hope you get a laugh out of it too!

*If you continue reading my blog, you'll come to realize that I have a huge crush on Matt Bomer/Christian Grey.  The book itself, not my favorite when it came to the writing or the way D/s was portrayed, but Christian on the other hand, especially when I envision him as Matt Bomer - um, yum.  So here's a little CG/MB eye candy!*

Tell me this is not Mr.Grey...