Maintenance Mishaps

Things are still all in all (for the most part,) going pretty well for us ttwd/dd wise.  Knock on wood.

Although, that doesn't mean there aren't a few bumps here and there.  As a matter of fact, the past couple days have just been one giant bump in the road.

We have a book that i'm supposed to write in when certain things don't get done.  If I haven't been to the gym, if I haven't been drinking my water, if he tells me to do something that doesn't get done .. you get the picture.  I've been doing pretty good with writing in it when I need to, yet Colin hasn't been so great about checking it.  Basically he said that he'll make sure to check it daily after work.  If there's something major, it should be taken care of that night, and if there are just some little things, we'll address it during maintenance, which we decided to use every Sunday.

Well, not only has he not been checking it, but maintenance has pretty much .. gone to hell.  For the book, it really bothers me, because if i'm taking the time to write it down, i'm kind of putting it in his hands to check the book, and deal with it as necessary.  Well, that hasn't been happening.  I could most likely deal with that, if he made up for it with sticking to maintenance and just addressing the issues then.  We decided on using maintenance a while back, and honestly I think we've done it ... maybe twice?  In his defense, he has a bad shoulder so he's not always in the best position to be able to give a spanking, and I 100 percent totally understand that.  However, it becomes an issue, for me, when he just doesn't even bring it up.

For example, during the day on Sunday I was a little bit moody.  I'm honestly a very sweet, caring, loving person, but if you do something to genuinely hurt me, a close friend, family members, my husband, etc .. well you'll see a different side of me.  I can be a bitch, and I also tend to not let things go.  Not a good trait, I know.  I let people get to me pretty easily.

I apparently also have a sidetracking issue. :p

Anyway, back to the original point.  Sunday was full of cursing for me.  Colin understands that he can't expect me to not curse AT ALL, but we agreed that I need to cut back on it.  We pretty much decided that in certain situations he'll let it slide, but if he warns me about it, and tells me it needs to stop - that's when it needs to stop.  I got that warning Sunday, and it still didn't stop.  He decided to resort to having me write lines.  Not fun at all.  I was supposed to take a picture of them and post them here, but honestly I have no idea where they are right now, so i'll just say that I had to write two pages front and back, "I will not curse Sir."

So it certainly seemed like he was filling out those HoH shoes pretty well.  Sunday night rolled along, and he told me his shoulder was really killing him and he wasn't sure he'd be able to do maintenance.  He said since he wasn't able to do it that night, he was going to move it to Monday night and it'd get done then.  That was fine with me.  I wouldn't ever want him doing it when he was in pain .. never.  I also really liked the fact that not only did he explain it wasn't going to be able to happen, but he postponed it, rather than just forgetting about it completely.

Well Monday night comes along, and not even a mention of it.  Granted, he came home from work, we ate dinner, watched a few of our shows, and then before you know it, it goes from 5 pm to 10 pm in a matter of a couple minutes.  I would have been okay with it if he talked to me about it before bed, and let me know his shoulder was still in pain and that we'd skip it this week, but take care of maintenance next week for sure.  Honestly, that would have been fine.  But, no .. instead he just doesn't say a word about it, which gets me angry, annoyed, let down, etc .. which causes an argument.  Every time it's time for maintenance it just seems to be like .. is this really happening again?

Then I get even more annoyed, because isn't TTWD/DD supposed to help?  Isn't it suppose to make things better?  Easier?  Well if we're fighting BECAUSE of it, then what's the point?

We were able to talk it out this afternoon, and came to a solution, but just going through it is tiring.  Especially when it's not the first time it's happened.  Not the second, third, hell not even the fourth.  It's a recurring thing.

We pretty much decided that I was going to just let it go.  He apologized for not bringing it up, and said he just assumed (well babe, we know what happens when you assume!) that I would realize it was because of his shoulder, and that it wouldn't be an issue.  He agreed that next time he needs to make some mention of it, and at least talk about it with me.  I agreed that rather than arguing and yelling at him if it happens again, i'll be able to calmly talk to him about why i'm upset.

The ending of our text about the topic was this:

"Fine, but if you talk to me the way you did, or don't do what you're supposed to do, you're going to get punished.  Whether it's spanking, lines, corner, or anything else I choose to punish you with."

"Ok." (That probably should have been a Yes, Sir ..whoops)

"And Sunday, whenever I say, you'll get over my knee."

We'll see what happens Sunday.  I'm going to try and not stress about it, and just leave it in his hands to do what needs to be done.

I've been trying to think of ways to go about maintenance for the times when his shoulder just isn't feeling good enough to spank me.  I don't think writing lines would work, because what's he going to have me write .. "This is maintenance," over and over.  Um, nope.  I'm not sure about the corner.  I guess it could work, even if he were to have me stand there for five minutes or whatever.  It would probably be decently effective as maintenance if he kind of lectured while I was in the corner.  Just reminding me of things I need to do that week, what will happen if I don't, etc.  So far, that's all I can come up with.

Does anyone have any suggestions?  Have there been times when spanking wasn't able to happen for one reason or another so you had to resort to something else?  I'd love to hear how other people have worked through this, or if it has never been an issue, how do you see yourself working through it?

I'm sure we'll figure it out.  It takes time and patience ..  I just hope we figure it out sooner than later.

*Another totally random question, and you guys will probably think i'm crazy by the way.  I notice when reading my post after it's published that there are spots where there's a random indent for some words.  It's not that way while writing the post, yet when I notice it on the published post it drives me crazy - anyone ever notice it before or know why it does that? .. I might be a little ocd with that kind of stuff, lol.*