I decided to talk to him about it, and I brought up the idea of having assignments once in a while. Well, he really liked that idea, and what I thought would be assignments once every couple weeks or so, has turned into more assignments than i'd like! Well okay, actually it's more of a love/hate kind of relationship I have with these assignments.
He's really shown his .. HOH-yness (I think that should officially be a word - dictionary definition and all!) lately and i've really enjoyed seeing/feeling that, as well as feeling more submissive lately. The assignments haven't been anything crazy, just little things like cleaning out the fridge, or looking up something for him online. Little things like that, but it's made a big difference in my frame of mind lately.
We went on a little mini vacation this past weekend, and he was even HOHy then. One morning we woke up, and right before we went to get breakfast I was being a bit ..difficult. I am NOT a morning person, and I was pretty grumpy. He told me to bend over the bed, and he gave me about 6 smacks with his hand. I asked what that was for, and he said, "Just a reminder to behave today..understand?" Even those 6 little smacks with his hand stung! Plus it did the trick, and put me in that submissive mind set. I right away answered with, "Yes Sir." If he had told me to behave and asked if I understood, five minutes before that, I probably would have rolled my eyes and told him to hush!
Ive been getting, "the look" quite often. I picked this one because it actually reminds me a bit of Colins look. He's got the scruff going on too. |
This way, I see that it's being dealt with, and it doesn't seem like he's just putting it on the back burner, yet he can still do the actual spanking when things settle down and we have the time.
Things certainly aren't perfect, but I don't expect them to ever be. Where's the fun in that? I think we're in a good spot right now though, and I just really wholeheartedly trust him being the "Leader," in this dynamic. He always tells me to just let go, and i'm trying, because I really do want to. I really do love it .. more so when my butt isn't sore. ;)
He didn't write this, I just found it on the internet, but it's basically what he's always telling me. |
On the car ride to our mini vaca, I also came clean about some stuff. I won't go into too many details, but years ago, before I was able to be open with him about spanking, DD, etc, I was infatuated with the idea of it, yet I had no .. outlet. Wellll, like a lot of spankos I know, I would search the internet any chance I got. Spanking chat rooms, spanking forums, etc. I finally got the courage to actually attend a spanking party (there's something for a future blog post!) and I also met with a couple people I had met online .. for spankings. Nothing sexual, or anything like that. Just very platonic, discipline type spankings. Since i'm all for sharing my secrets lately, i'll let you guys in on one too - one person I met for a spanking was actually a female!
Yup, i've been in this situation before. |
Anywayyyyy, I hated keeping this stuff from him, but I had always been too embarrassed to tell him. Since he wasn't interested in spanking in the sense I was at first, I didn't know if he'd get it, or if he'd think I was weird, or what.
Thankfully now that Mr.Used to be vanilla, is pretty much a full fledged spanko, he totally got it. He was a little upset that I had kept it from him for so long, but he understood why and was happy I was finally able to tell him. Talk about a huge relief and a weight lifted off my shoulders. I think that's a reason I feel so happy with us lately also, because I was able to tell him those secrets. Sure felt good to get it all out there.
So there's an update on us. I just am so happy with the fact that he's so happy with DD/Ds and that he really seems to .. get it. I went so long without telling him about this dynamic, because I was so scared of his reaction, and i'm just so lucky that he's such an understanding guy. So if you read this, thank you for being so open to all this, Sir.... and remember how sweet I am next time i'm across your knee for being a brat. ;)
I also want to add, my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who was affected by 9/11. Such a horrible day. We'll never forget!
Awesome!! A real spanko. Life is good.
ReplyDeleteHug,
Joey
It sure is. :) So weird how someone who was pretty darn vanilla, can turn into a spanko. I love it. :)
DeleteYea baby I've gotten better at this dd/ds. I know I have some more things to work on, and I'm so happy you brought this type of dynamic up to me. I love you so much baby girl.
ReplyDelete-Colin
Love you too Sir. :)
DeleteI had to chuckle about those two assignments you listed as examples...because I've totally gotten those same ones before lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you came clean...guessing it gave you a great feeling of lightness for having done so...and it's sweet that he was so understanding:)
Lol, i'm glad i'm not the only one who has gotten those assignments. ;)
DeleteThanks Tess!
Hi Kenzie, this made me smile. So happy to hear you are in such a good place. It sounds as though you guys have been communicating well and making some tweaks to your dynamic. I quite like the assignment idea and can see the benefit in the in between punishment idea. I hope it works well for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to come clean and that he was so understanding. Good on you! I bet it must have been such a relief.
Hugs,
Roz
Thanks Roz! It was SUCH a relief, so i'm glad it's all out in the open now. :)
DeleteHi Kenzie,
ReplyDeleteLife really does get in the way sometimes, I know it does here, and punishments aren't always able to be delivered when needed. I love that you two have come up with a solution for this. I'm still not sure if I should tell Rog, he may like the idea too much. ;)
It sounds like you two are in a great place!
Hugs
Kim
Lol Kim, sometimes it's scary when we think they'll like a certain idea too much, huh?
DeleteLife can be a pain getting in the way, but it's all about finding ways around those hurdles. :)
Hi I loved this blog u remind me of me!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't brought it up that much letters and a card I live in a submissive mindset where I try to be honest (apart from dd - but I do feel I should be) obedient and respectful
I haven't ever met a dd person in real life at least not that I know of!
enjoyed your blog
jane
Aw thanks for stopping by Jane, and i'm glad you can relate to some of the stuff I blog about. :)
DeleteIt sounds like you guys are in a really good place. It must be a weight off your shoulders not to feel like you have to hold onto those secrets anymore. I like the idea of your "in the meantime" punishments. With Michael gone so much, punishments often get put off and then they don't happen. Often by the time he gets home to dole out said punishment we've already worked through the issue. That's a good thing, but sometimes it feels like it lessens the dynamic somewhat, like the consequences aren't there...if that makes any sense. I'll have to think about this and decide if I want to share with Michael or not (it's that whole "be careful what you wish/ask for thing" lol)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, about the issue being resolved being a good thing, yet somehow making the dynamic feel .. less. Be careful what you wish/ask for is such a true statement, lol. ;)
DeleteKenz,
ReplyDeleteLove your post but u know I always do:) I know you must feel a sense of relief that you came clean with Colin, I know I would. So happy for you for both of you.
honey
Thanks Honey! It was a nice sense of relief, that's for sure. :)
DeleteArg, that look, lol! I bet you feel very relieved to have told him. And look at Colin, he is really stepping up and being very HoH-y, awesome!
ReplyDeleteArg is the perfect word to explain that look, lol.. I love it! :)
DeleteOh wow-cleaning the fridge might be enough to make me rethink this while thing-j/k. I got a laugh out of HOHyness. I'm new at this. I'm working my way through your blog. I'm looking forward to getting to "know" you.
ReplyDeleteHaha, yea right? It's not a fun assignment that's for sure. ;)
DeleteWell welcome, and i'm looking forward to getting to know you as well!
Great post Kenzie... I'm happy to know how you guys are doing!!
ReplyDeleteB does alot of general "not really submissive in and of themselves" sort of assignments. At first, I would get frustrated and think that I wished he would give me "better" assignments, whatever that means. Then I realized that if I focused on the fact that I was doing the assignments because he told me to and in order to be obedient to him, it turned them into something more important.
As a receiver of only "in the meantime" punishments right now, I know that they are a good stop gap... but they definitely don't scratch the itch if you know what I mean.
Thanks for sharing your secret!! I was headed toward looking into some of that stuff before B and I started talking and it made it feel way more normal to see someone that I can relate to as a whole person has tried some of that as well.
I think you're great!!
Bekah
Bekah, I totally get what you mean about wishing they were "better" assignments at first. That's exactly how I felt! You're right, focusing on WHY the assignments are being done, makes it important!
DeleteAw, i'm glad sharing made you realize you're not the only one, and I think you're great as well!
Thanks! :)
Lovely post, had me smiling. Glad you were able to share with him.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thanks Ronnie, hope you have a great weekend as well! :)
DeleteSounds like you guys are getting to a very good place. :) And isn't it so freeing to be so open and honest with your spouse? :) So glad that you could open up and let him know all, and that you know you can trust him with it. :)
ReplyDeleteConsistency and mindset changes after it feels like something was just forgotten about are always difficult issues. Good luck with the in between assignments. I'm glad Colin was so accepting of what you shared from the past.
ReplyDelete