I seriously spoke too soon! That night, we ended up getting into a pretty bad argument, which I admit, was one hundred percent my fault. I don't know what came over me, but I ended up saying some pretty disrespectful things and just wouldn't listen, or be submissive. We came to the conclusion that we think it was because there have been no spankings in a while, and it really affected my behavior. I found myself resorting back to how I was in the very beginning, where i'd push just to see if he'd do anything. (I know, I know, not good!) I have no idea why, because he's shown me time and time again that he's being consistent and means what he says.
Anyway, a spanking couldn't happen because being a female is a total pain in the butt, and because of female issues i've just been feeling like absolute garbage. *Side note here* Come to think of it, I bet that attributed to the whirlwind of emotions and just not feeling myself. Ok, back on track now!
So we talked before bed, I apologized, he told me there'd be consequences. You know *that* conversation.
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| Maybe a little something like this? PS, for any PLL fans, really ezrA?! Really?! |
The next morning, after he left for work, I got a text from him. It said something along the lines of:
"Your punishment is between 1 and 2 today. In the bedroom, no tv, internet, phone, etc. You'll be writing an apology letter, during that time as well."
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| My face when I read the text. |
So I got it done and thought it was all done and over with. He came home that night, sat on the bed with me, and told me to read it to him. Eeek!
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| Clearly, Colin is Sebastian in this scenario, and Ariel was me when he said to read it outloud. |
THAT wasn't easy! I read it to him, and he cuddled up next to me, told me he knew I was sorry and that was the end of it. He also realized that he needs to step it up a bit for the times when spankings can't happen. So yes, I spoke too soon about everything being on the right track, but I think we fixed the issue and now we're back on course. :)
We are on the right track Kenz. When I havent been consistent with keeping up with spankings, you get frustrated and act out, but I know you dont mean it. Thats why we came up with some new ideas for the times I get home late or something comes up. Just remember we will get through this and itll make us even stronger with ttwd. Love you so much Kenzie.
ReplyDelete- Colin
Aw, you're the best. One of the reasons I love ttwd is times like these. Pre-ttwd, we'd end up fighting for days - this way is so much better!
Deletethat is too sweet Colin. Kenzie we are were you are but with love and each other you will make.
ReplyDeleteThanks butterfly! :)
DeleteKenzie I can't help but grin at your Ariel. I can imagine I'd have the same expression LOL. These men know us...it's when they force us out of that comfort zone that things get even better.
ReplyDeleteLol, I love Ariels expression in that picture. I feel like it's my face a lot of the time!
DeleteThe letter writing I could cope with (probably)
ReplyDeleteReading it out to him - that's the killer!
I think it's really great that Colin comments public ally on your blog.
It sure was killer! It was hard to get through, but I was so relieved when it was over.
DeleteThanks for the comment!
Great solution.
ReplyDeleteThanks SG. :)
DeleteI love how you always find these gifs, amazing, they went to perfectly with it. The second one is me yesterday morning. The eye roll was soooo close, yet I resisted, lol.
ReplyDeleteLol, im a little bit gif obsessed, if you haven't noticed. ;)
DeleteThe eye roll is hard to resist, so good for you! :)
Kenzie, i'm sure bitchy mother nature didn't help matters, but could it also be a need of yours was not being fulfilled? i think that is when a check in is needed the most to make sure the need is not being neglected. Yes, Mr. Colin should maybe see this, but at the same time, He is human and may not see what is starting to bubble underneath the "all is going well" so you may need to go tell Him. What need am i referring too-spanking.
ReplyDeleteFrom all the blogs i've read in our community, the maintenance spanking really does ground us. i don't necessarily mean it needs to be a hardcore maintenance session, but just enough for the current situation to re-ground you.
i actually loved the punishment. Yes, i'm weird. Physical works okay for me, but your's was more mind fuck, which really helps me refocus and feel like i've realized what I've done and how I need to correct it.
i hope this next week is better for you. ((hugs))
mother nature is very bitchy! Almost as bitchy as I can get during that time of the month. ;)
DeleteIf you're weird, i'm right there with you!!! Physical works for me, and the pain of the spanking is something I want to avoid, but the mind fuck aspect is what gets me - THAT is what is really effective when it comes to punishment.
Maybe this is newbie jitters, but I feel like I might have a hard time reading a letter with a straight face. But I'm very much in the beginning and it sounds like I'm where you used to be. For some reason I find I'm now deliberately saying dumb things just to see what my hubby does! Anyways, it's great that helped your relationship get back on track!
ReplyDeleteOh it was hard to keep a straight face! A few times he had to tell me to slow down because I was rushing through it!
DeleteThat pushing the boundaries thing, seems to be quite common! Must just be ttwd, lol.
What a sweet comment from Colin! Hormones can definitely have an effect on pain tolerance. Interesting punishment he came up with. I find myself wondering how you felt afterward.
ReplyDeleteThanks Grace, he can be a sweetie. ;)
DeleteAfterward I felt a few emotions. At first I was almost really shy for some reason. I wanted to hide under the blanket. Then he cuddled with me for a bit and I just felt 10000x better.
So sweet!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I don't think having bumps in the road like this mean things aren't good...I actually think things sound great. You're gonna lose your patience. You will sometimes do things you shouldn't. He stepped up and made you think about what you did, and you two reconnected. This is actually perfect!
Sometimes I don't need to be spanked, but I need to "be sure of him." I told Jason this and it helps. Sometimes he puts me over his lap just to talk, not to spank me, and that helps so much. I find it calming, and very relaxing, and it helps me sink into that submissive place. Sometimes just a finger under the chin and "Are you my good girl" helps too. Just a reminder of who's in charge.
That sounds like it'd totally put me in that submissive place! Colin has actually mentioned doing that before, so i'm sure it'll happen soon now. :)
DeleteIt's great that Colin 'gets you' when things are off. I know those heartfelt apologies aren't easy but they sure have the desired impact.
ReplyDeleteI agree with JG. Sounds like things are right on track for the two of you!
((Hugs)) Cat.
Thanks Cat! One of the many things I love about him, is that he really does... get me. :)
DeleteThat's so sweet that Colin comments. I know when we can't have any maintenance or any kind of spankings, my behavior gets the best of me, especially when Mother Nature calls. It's so good to see that your two have come up with othe ideas when spanking can't happen.
ReplyDeleteLove your last pic! I would hate to read the letter out loud.
Hugs,
Kim
I love when he comments. :)
DeleteGlad you liked the pic, that one was probably my fave. ;)
Girl!! One of the hardest things I ever had to do was write a letter explaining how my actions (hiding information) affected our relationship and how he could have made a much better decision if I hadn't, AND to apologize. Whew.. beat my butt anyday....
ReplyDeleteOh woww! That sounds like one hell of a punishment - also very effective i'm guessing?
DeleteAww sweet! Glad it's all better now :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteOh I swear I turn to mega bitch from hell around that time of month and we always end up arguing. It's hard to deal with all those emotions running wild at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI think when the physical aspects of this life, have to be put on hold for whatever reason, we lose a bit of connection and need to push the boundaries to make sure they're still there, sometimes it's subconsciously and sometimes we do it out of confusion and/or hurt. I think it's a normal process though, that we all go through.
I'm glad Colin found a way to get through and deal with the problem and I think his comment was so cute :)
Hugs x
Haha mega bitch from hell should be my middle name around that time of month! I'm glad im not the only one. ;)
DeleteI'm glad to hear that pushing the boundaries, is more of a normal thing than I thought, thanks for that! :)
Hi Kenzie,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this happened. You know, I would say you were, and are on the right track. Arguments still happen from time to time and old habits do occasionally rear their heads. I'm sure not feeling 100% didn't help the situation either. For some reason, we also sometimes feel the need to push those boundaries to make sure they are rock solid.
Ttwd provides us a way to deal with these moments and put them behind us and that is exactly what happened here. I would have found the writing hard enough, let alone reading it to him. I've had to recite lines occasionally in front of him and it's way worse than writing the darn things in the first place!
I'm glad this is all resolved. See ... ttwd at work :) I love Colin's comment. Very sweet :)
Hugs,
Roz
Roz, you're so right about needing to push those boundaries from time to time! Ohh reciting lines in front of him? Eeek!
DeleteThanks! :)
"I found myself resorting back to how I was in the very beginning, where i'd push just to see if he'd do anything. (I know, I know, not good!)"
ReplyDeleteIt's not "bad". It's just normal. Sometimes we need to push because we know something is not quite right, but we don't recognise exactly what. In this case you it seems that you simply needed to know you had his attention.
I'm not sure if this is going to make much sense, but I'll give it a go anyway.
It's true that you could have just asked for it, but it's also true that by doing so, you would have 'proved' to yourself that you didn't have that attention in the first place, which I personally think could have been worse than the "talking in bed" that you did.
It's definitely true that this is something you need to talk about as a general concept, but that kind of talking isn't always what is needed in the moment.
Thanks for the comment, it's nice to hear that it's not 'bad', it's normal. Your comment made complete sense, and it actually really helped me a lot with this, so thank you. :)
DeleteHormones are horrible...they screw everything up. You both will learn how to deal with that time of the month...for us it has always been a challenge. He sure did get creative...and read it to him?!! that would embarrass me to death!
ReplyDeleteReading it to him was horrrrible! Chalk one up to creativity, lol. Thanks for the comment, hormones really are horrible!
DeleteThat is really sweet. Glad you guys are back on track!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sassy! :)
DeleteIt actually sounds to me like things are still on track. :) Mother nature will still call, you'll still have off days, you'll still be cranky and not always know why, but he's there to catch you. Sounds very on track to me, and so glad to hear you're happy. :)
ReplyDeleteAw, you're so right Es May! He really is always there to catch me, and at the end of the day, that's so important. :) Thanks!
DeleteGlad you both worked it out! Bumps in the road aren't fun, but it sure is nice to get past them.
ReplyDelete