Wednesday, September 25, 2013

There's no room in D/s or DD for insecurity!

Surprise Surprise, life has been INSANE once again, and I haven't had much time for blogging. I miss it! I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with everyones blogs, but right after this post i'm going to spend some time catching up and commenting!

Anyway, Colin and I were talking the other day about some D/s things we want to try. To be honest, there's A LOT I want to explore/experience, as does he. I love when we talk about trying new things, and bring up new interests to each other, but then I get all bummed out, because in reality I know that my insecurities are going to get in the way of trying these new things.

I need to read this daily!

I told him that, and he says over and over again how much he loves my body, and if he didn't, he wouldn't want to try all these things with me. I tried to explain it to him, and mentioned how it'd be easier to write about it, so he gave me a little assignment. Writing a post here, about how insecurities can get in the way of having fun. This is probably going to be one of the harder posts i'll write, but i'm really going to just try and be totally open.

I've had body image issues for as long as I can remember. I went through a few years in high school, when I was in awesome shape. Looking back at those pictures now, all I want is to get back to that point. BUT, during the time those pictures were taken, I didn't like myself at all. I was one of those girls who was wearing a size 4 or 6, and thought I was so fat. I went through some things after high school, and gained some weight, so of course now i'd love to fit into a size 4! Now, i'm by no means 300 pounds or anything like that, but I don't have the body I had then. Not being comfortable with yourself can get in the way in so many areas of life, and it's especially a pain in the ass when it comes to DD/Ds kinda stuff.

I'll be totally candid right now, and say that it really messes up having a good sex life too! I so badly want to please Colin in multiple ways, and I want to have a healthy, exciting, rough & crazy sex life, but sometimes i'm so down in the dumps about myself, that I really lose the drive for those kind of activities. To be completely honest, i'd say it gets in the way more times than not. To put it bluntly, that sucks!

I know some people who read this blog are strictly DD, and not into Ds stuff at all, so i'm trying not to over share, but it's hard to really talk about the issue, without getting into some details. So, if you don't want to here about crops, or spanking on other body parts besides the butt, skip the next paragraph or two. ;)

Ok, so getting down to it! We just ordered some new toys and they should be here pretty soon. Problem is, just because they'll be here soon, doesn't mean we'll use them anytime soon. Why? Well, we have good ole insecurity to blame for that one! We ordered one of those pretty extreme looking "massagers," that are really vibrators, and also a crop, Fifty Shades of Grey style! Thinking about it now, i'm so excited for Colin to use both of those things, but when it comes down to it, I don't think i'll be able to just let go and feel comfortable with myself. We both really want to try ... okay I seriously feel like a little kid right now, but it's so hard to say this.... bare with me .. ahh .. pussy spanking.

Looks fun, doesn't it?
Okay, there I said it! That's why he got the crop. So in my mind, i'm trying to figure out how he can use it, while i'm fully clothed. Or at least semi. Can I keep a shirt on, and maybe some skimpy panties? Can I have on some short shorts? When in reality, I should be comfortable with getting naked and letting him do whatever the hell he wants! I mean, he's not a stranger, we've had sex, he's seen my body, we're freakin' married! He says he loves my body, he certainly wants his hands all over me 24/7, so why can't I just .. let go?! It's certainly a frustrating feeling.

Not only does it mess with the Ds aspect, but it also messes with the DD aspect in certain ways. I crave that feeling of being vulnerable. A bit of that humiliation aspect, being put in my place, and just being .. his. I feel like a good way of showing that, is nakedness. Whether it's corner time, kneeling, or just a spanking. It would certainly make me feel submissive. Yet, I just can't come to terms with that.

I'm really not sure of a solution at this point, but maybe this post will be the first step to figuring it out? I certainly hope so! I want to get to the point where he can tie me up, use the new "massage"/vibe, and leave it there for hours until i'm begging for him to stop. I want to get to the point where he can tell me to strip and kneel. I want to get to the point where i'll do these things, and won't feel insecure doing them! I want to feel comfortable with these pictures becoming reality. *Again, a little more Ds/Sexual than youre used to on this blog, so if you're uncomfortable with that, skip forward a bit.*




 I really want to start getting back into the gym regimen. I'm doing some youth coaching right now, so that's a decent work out, but I want/need more. Colin has tried making a rule where I have to go to the gym 3x a week, but lately there has been so much going on, I literally haven't had the time.

I think from here on out, i'm going to start making the time. Maybe it'd be better to not have a 3x a week rule, but rather a rule where if I have time to sit on my butt at home on the computer, then I should be at the gym! Even if it's just 30 minutes to start with. Just something to start having me feel better about myself. I also need to start eating better. I need to find some good healthy recipes, for both Colin and myself, and making some nice healthy dinners!

It's so easy to say i'll do these things, now I just need to do them!

In the meantime, i'll be dreading/nervously waiting for the doorbell to ring with our new toys. Let's just hope it doesn't take a month to use them.

I know self confidence issues are a common thing, especially for women. I'm thinking maybe the fact that being submissive, opens up a whole new door of emotions/vulnerabilities, adds to it a bit? What do you guys think? Have you had/do you have these kind of issues that get in the way of D/s or DD? How did you work through it? I'd love some advice, I could certainly use it!

Oh, and I found this picture while searching for pics for this entry. Honestly, this is the best/most accurate picture i've ever found! I love it.

This is EXACTLY where I want to get with Colin, and our relationship. Exactly!

38 comments:

  1. May I suggest reading, if you have not, my used and abused humiliation post. it touches big time on this. of course, I'll be happy to share things privately. I understand how you feel. He could care less about my body images and does what he wants to me. I'm amazed to all the things I thought I couldn't do or enjoy because of my weight....wrong! I can do it, and quite well too. that has helped my esteem. oh, I have to wear a fan shirt because i bitched too much about my insecurity. I hate that damn shirt, it gets in the way.

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    1. Your blog has actually helped a lot, with me realizing I need to let go, and just trust in Colin. I think it's great how you're able to submit so well! Thanks :)

      Oh and ps - What's a fan shirt?

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  2. Good start hunni. You just need to keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and I love you so much. I will push you and myself to go to the gym more. Kenz youre so amazing and such a wonderful wife that I know you will not let this stand in your way.
    -Colin

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    1. You're the best. Love you so much.

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  3. Ohhh.. Colin's comment is great!!!

    But Kenzie, I also think that maybe this is a "fake it til you make it" sort of thing too.... If you're committed to obeying him, then when he orders you out of your clothes, get out of your clothes... even if it makes you want to fall through the floor. I think the more times you do it, the easier it will be, and the more times he responds positively to your body and enjoys you naked (which you said up there that he does, and I've seen him tell you that in your comments) the more you'll believe that he loves you just how you are and I think being comfortable in your own skin makes it easier to lose weight too.

    Another idea (although I feel completely out of my depth offering ideas) is that maybe if Colin is doing something that he knows is going to make you struggle with going to that insecure place in your head, he could be more purposeful about demanding that your focus be on him during that time... you're not going to be able to just fix self image issues, but the two of you together can and he may be able to help you "get out of your own head" some by reminding you that you're pleasing him and that pleasing him in those moments is where your focus should be, not on yourself.

    I may be totally off, and you and Colin have more experience in this lifestyle than I do, so I hope I'm not overstepping, but I definitely can relate to body image struggles so this post really hit home for me.

    Sorry for how long this is!!!!
    hugs,
    Bekah

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    1. It is totally a fake it til you make it, kinda thing! I just didn't realize that until your comment, so thank you for pointing that out!

      You're not off at all, in fact your comment is 100 percent spot on, and that's an awesome idea. One that I think will really help a lot.

      Thanks so much! :)

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  4. Collin, I love your comment. You are such a great, supporting husband!

    Kenzie,
    I can so relate to your problem. Just last month I wrote a post where Rog spanked me for how badly I speak about my body. He has made a rule that I am not allowed to speak anything negative about myself. I think badly to myself but I no longer make comments. And although that hasn't made my self image problem go away, it has helped some. I think Bekah Had great advise, focus on Collin in that moment, focus on pleasing him.

    This is such a hard issue, especially for women. You are not alone and you are a very beautiful person, it shows in your writing!
    Hugs,
    Kim

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    1. He is a very supporting husband, I love that about him. :)

      I think that's a great rule! Thanks so much for the advice and for the sweet words. :)

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  5. Hi Kenzie,

    Firstly, I love Colin's comment. He loves you and loves your body.

    I too can soo relate to this post. I think many of us body issues. I am prone to talking negatively about myself all the time and until realised how this upset Rick until we started ttwd. He hates it and calls me on it every time.

    Our role affirmation always starts with me being naked and kneeling. Rick insists on this because it definitely makes me feel more submissive and vulnerable but mainly to help me feel more comfortable being naked. I still struggle but it is slowly getting easier.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. He can be a sweetie. ;)

      I like the idea of your role affirmation. Sounds like something that really works!

      Thanks Roz. :)

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  6. Hi Kenzie. I'm slowly working my way through your blog. I can absolutely relate to this post. I've struggled with my body as far back as I can remember. Those body issues that start in childhood become so ingrained and a part of who we are. This has definitely affected my sex life with my husband. In fact, for a long time I refused to do certain sexual positions because of my insecurity about the way my body looks. One of the ways our relationship has benefited since we've started heading the direction of Ds/DD is that sexually I don't have a choice if my husband wants me in a position that makes me feel insecure. That being said, I think Bekah Jane has a point with the "fake it 'til you make it" mentality. I find that the more he puts me in these situations and the more I submit, the less I obsess over it in my head. I'm finally starting to get out of my head and enjoy things that I would've been too preoccupied to enjoy. It's really really hard though. I've also been on my own health journey for the past year and a half. I've improved, but not nearly so much as I'd like to. It can be hard to fit that gym time in. I feel so much better when I'm consistently at the gym. I'm in a rut right now, but hope to get back there soon. I think it's awesome that Colin wants to actively encourage you to build this healthy habit. Also, I love that he commented on how beautiful you are. Together, you guys will be able to conquer your body image concerns and you will come out of this with a positive and appreciative view of your body!

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    1. They really do become ingrained, don't they? It seems to just stick with us!

      This was such a sweet comment, and I really appreciate the kind words. :) Thank you!

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  7. Kenzie,

    I tell my wife every day she is beautiful. I am not sure she believes it, but it is absolutely true.

    Colin is being honest with you. Believe what he says. Block out what society tells us about our bodies. That is just Madison Avenue playing on our insecurities.

    Big Hug,
    joey

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    1. i loved your words here, joey. your girl is a lucky one.

      hugs,
      m.

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    2. Aw, she is a lucky one for sure! You're so sweet. You're right, it's time to trust in what Colin tells me.

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  8. For me, having a rule about exercising has helped me SO SO much. It was always something that I wanted to do, knew I needed to do and enjoyed doing once I was there...but it was always so easy to come up with a million reasons why I needed to do something else. Having that external motivation and attention from him on this was exactly the push I needed to really commit to it. I hope that you find the same to be true!
    p.s. - This is YOUR blog. No need to feel shy or apologize for WHATEVER you feel like sharing here:)

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    1. Oh, the excuses - I can relate to that for suuure! That motivation and attention from him, sounds like something that really helped you to commit!

      Thanks, you're right about the blog, I appreciate it! :)

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  9. I love this post. I can relate.
    I was the same as you in high school.. I'd love to be that "fat" again!

    I do have a suggestion.. I'll email you about it. It's something that is really helping me!!!

    And I love Colin's reply. So sweet!

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    1. I got your email and wrote back - great ideas! :) Thanks so much for that!

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  10. kenzie. god love you. i want to tell you something i don't share with a lot of people. i had a breast reduction at 17 and i was really tiny. i think i wore a four or five in those days. then i had four babies in less than five years. so i had a tummy tuck. then another tummy tuck to revise the scar from the first tummy tuck. i had all this stuff by the time i was 31 and i spent the remainder of my thirties with horrible body issues from the thoughts that i'd "ruined my body" blahblahblah. i thought my husband wouldn't be able to look at me and see sex appeal, he'd only see "god she has a lot of scars and shit." and well, frankly, that wasn't the case AT ALL.

    a few years ago he asked me if he could "shave my nethers" -- oh dear. the answer was a flat out NOPE. you can't do that. and he asked why and i gave silly reasons and well, you understand. a year went by and he said no words about it. until we went on an anniversary weekend and he had purchased my favorite razors and my favorite shave jelly stuff. he said, "tonight i am going to shave your pussy. end of story." oh dear jesus. that's what happened. he shaved it, i cringed throughout a lot of it because i was FREAKING out in my head about what he was thinking. turns out, he loved it and has begged to do it again---and i've let him.

    so now, i'm nearing my 42nd birthday and here's the part i want you to pay attention to... you will get to this age where i am RIGHT now and you're going to get smarter (because that's just what happens as you age, well, for most of us, anyway) and you're going to realize that time is so fucking short. you have to take every minute, every second and cherish them all. even the ones where you're cringing about what Colin is going to say about your body or your pussy or whatever-the-hell.

    get over it.

    i don't think we're talking totally about being healthy here, that's not what i'm hearing in this post. you have a body image issue--like we ALL have about one thing or another. yes, be healthy! don't grab a starbucks 900 calorie drink when a latte at 140 will give you the same gratification. make small changes in your life, but don't miss out on the bigger issue here.

    there will come a time when you'll look back and wish you wore stripey chevron skirts and didn't care who thought your ass was too fat for them. you're going to WISH to god that you'd worn your favorite color pink every day of your life rather than reach for the black shirts because your mother said the pink ones made you look awful and fat. you're going to want that time back to do it over. to make amends to colin and say, "you can do whatever you want with my body. it's yours." because why? because you'll REALIZE that today is ten years from now and time is just too short.

    as a friend once told me, in the words of Ferris Bueller, "life moves pretty fast. if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

    don't miss out my friend, you're beautiful just the way you are. give that man a kiss!

    hugs from your older, wiser sister,
    m.

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    1. Aw, gosh this is all so true! I love it, thanks for sharing your story, it's nice knowing we can all relate in ways.

      I love that quote, and it's SO right .. rather than worrying about everything, it's time to just let go of all that crap, and have fun with it. :) Thanks M!

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  11. Lovely post Kenzie. Your post resonated with me as I'm having issues with letting go of insecurities and finding my confidence in other personal areas. I especially LOVE the image talking about Just letting go and giving him control. It fits exactly with how I'm feeling about those things. Would you mind if I use it :)

    As for your insecurities about your body. Think of all those crazy positions you get into (I know that seams like it will do the opposite of help lol) but do it, and really think about HIS point of view. Not only is his POV at the time completely different than what you're seeing, you also have the fact that he's looking at you with love. Then think of how you make him feel during these times. What you do to him. WINK WINK. That's what finally helped me let go of my insecurities over my body. He clearly loves every inch of you, see the effect that your body has over him and be comfortable in your own skin. <3

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    1. Of course you can use that image. :) Isn't it great? I love it!

      Aw, you're right - what sweet words. Thank you! :)

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  12. It sounds like there are a couple of issues here. One is that you feel that you should get into better shape, be more healthy. That's a worthwhile goal. But, that's not the only issue at hand. There's the insecurity to contend with. And, even if you do get into better shape, that will likely still be an issue. You admitted that even when you'd been in the best shape you've been in that you still didn't like yourself. Self acceptance is huge and an ongoing struggle for many. Honestly, the biggest thing that has helped me is constant reassurance from my husband. We're getting older (been married for 20 years) and have 2 kids and my body shows it. However, he can't get enough of me. lol I don't pretend to understand it, but hey, I'm certainly not complaining! Try to see yourself through his eyes. Let him know that you need his help in this area. Michael has forbid me to talk negatively about myself. If I'm feeling that way I'm to let him know and he will help me get into a better mindset. In situations where he has wanted to do something and I've been hesitant because of insecurity it has helped immensely if I can just put myself into his hands. If it's not a choice, if I'm just trying to please my husband, then it's easier for me. Him taking control of the situation and me giving up that control can be hard sometimes, but it's been so worth it.

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    1. Hm, maybe like you said, NOT trying to understand it, is the way to go! I just have to trust in him, and his words, and leave it at that. I also like the idea of letting him know if you're feeling down, so that he can help. Thanks for the advice. :)

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  13. This is a very thoughtful and obviously honest exploration of where you want to go. Very refreshing.

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    1. Thank you! As hard as it can be sometimes, I try to be very raw and open with my posts. Thanks for the compliment!

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  14. I think most women can relate to this post--I don't know if this will help, but I AM a size four, and I still have insecurities. I was a 00, full-time ballet dancer when we got married. Now, I have stretchmarks that look like a US roadmap and (UGH!) my thighs touch when I walk, and I swear everything dropped four inches after childbirth. Bruce tells me CONSTANTLY that he thinks I'm sexy, that even my stretchmarks are because they're from the child I gave him. But women are insecure. Eight years of marriage and I still want to keep my bra on during our sack sessions. Him taking control does help, because then I don't think about it, it's about him and I just enjoy that dynamic.
    Anyway...I just want to let you know, you're certainly not alone, and if you find a way to completely let it go, PLEASE write a post spilling the secret! :)
    *hugs*

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    1. If I figure it out, I will certainly write a post. ;) Lol, but in all seriousness, these comments REALLY helped me put it all into perspective. It's about trusting him, and enjoying the dynamic. Thanks Brenna!

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  15. Most times our self image of ourselves is off base and clearly unnecessary. My Master loves me scars and all. He treats me with great respect. I worry about looking beautiful and desiring, his words take over and revive in me how gorgeous and beautiful I am to him. Such a hard thing for me to let go and be comfortable in my own skin. It's not a request...it's law. I love when he dominates me. My submissive is called out and must comply with no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Took a long time learning the ropes and IvBulletin am still learning how things work. I enjoy being his "beauty". I crave his ways that keep me grounded that still enforce me to step back and acknowledge I need this more than anything in my life. His control turns me on and helps me believe I am the one of the many beautiful women that he only desires and will love forever and ever. Give all your insecurities to him. Let him be the one who ravishes you with all the love you need. His love for you shines thru in his post. Accept his opinion as well as accepting it for yourself! Long, hard lesson that I was too stubborn to learn, but finally learned with th help of my most gracious Dom Master! I give thanks everyday for him! Gods bless Colin and you! Wish you both many years of happiness, love, joy, patience, and peace!

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    1. Thanks so much - what a sweet comment! You're right, accepting his opinion is what it all comes down it. That, and trusting in what he says. Thank you. :)

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  16. The first picture you put at the top is something I really needed to read today. I can really relate to having some of those insecurities and body image issues and it's something I've written about myself. Accepting who we are/how we are/what we look like is not an easy thing. I've struggled with it my whole life. Too tall, too fat, not pretty enough, not as popular as so-and-so, it goes on and on. For whatever reason it seems to be much easier to see the negative than the positive. I think that way of thinking is part of the problem. When someone has said something bad about me, I remember it FOREVER. But ten compliments after hearing one negative thing just get brushed off as "oh they're just trying to be nice and make me feel better. They don't mean it."

    It is not an easy cycle to break from. It's hard not to take to heart cruel comments people spout off whether it was from when we were in elementary school or two weeks ago. Unfortunately, I don't have a magical solution to just feel great about myself all the time. You just have to take it one step at a time and there will be good days and bad days. Start with thinking about one thing whether it's in your physical appearance or a personality trait, whatever, one thing you really like about yourself. Keep reminding yourself about that. "I really like my eyes or people think I'm really funny," doesn't matter what it is. Each day try to think of a new thing and after a while it may come a lot easier.

    Trust your partner. Don't brush off what he says he loves about you as just being nice or trying to make you feel better. That may hurt him that his opinion isn't being taken seriously and it can hurt you too. He means it. He loves you. We are our own harshest critics. Sometimes trying to see yourself through someone else's eyes is much more accurate and objective. Think about all the things you love about him and how much you mean it when you share that with him. He means what he says to you too. Let yourself be vulnerable. He will take care of you.

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    1. You're so right about forgetting the compliments, yet the insults are burned into our brains forever!

      I never thought of it like you mentioned in the last paragraph. You're right, when I say it to him i'm sincere and honest, so why wouldn't he be the same? Thanks Lea! :)

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  17. I too have insecurities, and have had a hard time loving my body. But the Duke really helps me. I first of all am not allowed to talk bad about myself, whether it be my body, or my intelligence, I'm to talk nice about myself. Secondly, the Duke will take time in the bedroom and just patiently ask me to trust him as he explores me in more and more ways as time goes by. He wants me to feel free to be embarrassed if I need, but to trust im more than the embarrassment. He wants me to know that I have nothing to hide from him, and that he values every square inch of me, and trust me, there are way more than there should be. I know you want to get to a smaller size, I am working on that too, but if you don't believe your husband right now that he finds you beautiful, you may be stuck feeling the same way when you are smaller. Maybe ask him to take twenty minutes with you, having him touch you on areas where there are no clothes, and telling you why he loves what he sees, what he feels. And TRUST him that he's being honest. Roles reversed, would you want him doubting your sincerity? He loves you, and how you look and feel to him... that is such a gift. :) You can let go, just get him to push you more and more into that, it'll be so worth it. :)

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    1. Aw, Es May, thanks for sharing your story & for the advice. I love the last little piece of advice about asking him to take twenty minutes. This really helped, thank you. :)

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  18. After reading your post and the comments so many thoughts are running through my head. I understand insecurities. We all have them and with each decade of life they seem to change. As a woman kicking forty right in the butt I am much more secure now than I ever was in my twenties. If I'd only known then... life, sex, relationships are so much more fun and fulfilling once you stop taking things so seriously. Remember, men are attracted to women not teenage girls. What make us women is just what so many of us seem to hate. Curves are good!! Embrace them. As far as letting go. Have fun. When that thought tries to sneak in at the most inopportune time ie. Good grief what must I look like in this position. Focus on how you are feeling at th exact time. Don't think of anything else. Extreme focus will shut everything out and you can just feel. Well it's works for me. It all started with th simple act of closing my eyes and only focusing on point of contact. Don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy being together. Good luck. Just remember that when you finally really learn too let go it is so worth it. Thanks for writing. I've enjoyed reading your blog.

    Enjoy you new toys. Might I recommend the Hitachi wand if you don't already have it. You may not have a choice about letting go.

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  19. This is a long post but I couldn't shorten it. Please be patient....

    I really loved reading all your posts, but this one talked to me. I too, like millions of women have struggled. No matter how skinny I've been, I always thought...."Just 5 more lbs". No matter how small, I felt "insecure" about my body, but why? Why after 26 yrs of marriage did I still struggle with my body in front of my husband. This prompted me to research more on the subject. (I am an over analyzer, but it works for me sometimes...bare with me here) I'm 44 and that feeling never disappears and I wanted to know why. (it subsides a little with age, but not much)

    First of all....It’s not all about society. Its natural and instinctive for women to be like this. It’s in our DNA. It’s a protective instinct to cover our bodies as to not show off too much and attract an undesirable mate. That instinct doesn't disappear as-soon-as you find your mate because this instinct also protects us from having a crap ton of babies.

    Second....It’s in our Husbands DNA to mate with someone that's not "used up" so to speak. For lack of a better word, total slut. He was instinctively attracted to you for the very thing that your worried about. In my husbands words, "Your shyness is part of your charm and that makes me want you more." Men love to teach us and if we've have "lots of practice".....what’s there to desire?

    Third..... With our DNA working against us to be "comfortable" in our own skin, we now have an issue with knowing what a supermodel looks like in a bathing suit and pictures to remind us of what we looked like "back then".

    Holy cow. Hows a girl supposed to get laid???

    I could go on and on and on about the science behind the subject, but the first 2 are clear facts. With that said, we can cut ourselves some slack. Now, on to the subject of exercise and diet, for a girl, in today's society.
    I've been pretty active most of my life and exercise is my candy. I didn't always think like this because sometimes life gets in the way, but we'll make all sorts of excuses, won't we. I got older and weight is way harder to keep under control. Plus, I started having a pain here and there which concerned me. So, I was off and researching. Everything lead back to exercise, exercise, exercise, weight maintenance. So, I bit the bullet and just started doing it.

    (Fast forward several years and this is what I know, in retrospect)

    (con't.....)

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  20. (con't...)

    1...I exercise with my husband almost every day. We're a DD couple now, but it’s not a rule. He leads by example, but expects me to submit by keeping fit. I’m not allowed to just get on a treadmill and walk. I’m expected to follow a weight training program. I don’t have to give him a log. He just trusts that I do as he says because time will tell if I'm slacking. (That would be lying and be really bad for my bottom.) If it helps at all.....I’m a freaking energizer bunny now and can go for hours in the bedroom and he loves that part. My body is fueled with lean muscle strength and stamina. (no...women can’t get bulky from weight training. We don't have the testosterone to support that. If you had a personal chef and trainer living with you and did everything perfect for a year......you might gain 12 lbs of muscle, but lose as much in fat and be many sizes smaller)

    2. A good HOH loves their wife regardless (as yours clearly does. I've read your posts and he adores you) and mine would still adore me if I was overweight (I’m not skinny by an stretch of the imagination), but now that I'm educated on the subject and have seen first hand what it’s like to be fit and active.....I could never take that from him. I think of it this way. I stay fit and active "for us”, NOT "because of him”.

    3. On a more serious note......My husbands Mother and Sister BOTH died in their sleep from weight related issues, so I'm going to be very frank with this one and I hope I don't offend anyone, but people can talk about being "full figured" and "curvy" all day long. Fat is fat and its unhealthy. (I can say this because I was overweight, so I'm speaking from someone who knows) I “faked it” all day, every day, before I lost 50 lbs. Now that we're healthy, and in shape, we go to the doctor for colds and checkups. I sleep great (no more ambien after years of insomnia) and I look at my husband with a new found respect. He made changes for both of us, at my constant request. (this request turned into fights, which turned into many sore bottoms on my part, but I finally made my opinion heard and my bottom looks better today for it. :-)) We did it for our health. Looking great naked is just one of the perks.

    4. If you take care of you and yours, you'll try and find reasons to be naked. My HOH has me do positions training, naked, in the middle of the room, with every light in the house on, in a different pair of heels, once a week. I'm still self conscious because I'm human....I'm exposed. That's normal, but that goes away when he has me holding different standing/kneeling positions that make me sweat. (I keep it straight and tight as to not sag) I can usually do what he demands because I'm in shape. I’m submitting and he’s teaching me to understand that he’s the one I submit to, and he’s the one who also protects me.

    I could go on, but I've said so much already. I had to give my 2cents because I saw sooo many one sided views supporting the idea that body image comes from society pressure...etc. I was out of shape once and from this side of the monitor, I speak the truth from my own experience. I don’t have time to go through, review my post, and sugar coat this. I'm so sorry if I offended you. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I’m saying exactly what one of my very best friends told me 4 years ago and it changed my life.....maybe saved it. I’m now sharing it with you because I like being naked now, for the most part AND….I don’t have to fake it.

    Good luck to you sweetie,
    (((HUGS))))

    P.S. I learned the greatest workout (an at home versions too) you can do that will make you butt look amazing....take better spankings too. I know, my HOH appreciates it immensely and comments on the bounce every time. I swear, he thinks up reasons to punish me. ("Did you notice the sky was blue today? NO?!? Bend over!)

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