Monday, February 24, 2014

My HOH is back & The Fantasy Box!

I don't want to speak too soon, but I really think DD/TTWD is back on track. Or at least on it's way to being back on track!

We had a pretty big slump, and for a while, we just couldn't figure out how to get back into the swing of things. We both wanted DD to continue, but it had taken a backseat for so long and it was hard to start it back up.

I think I was just over thinking it. This weekend we had a little mini vacation and went skiing a couple hours away from home. On the car ride there we started talking a bit about DD, TTWD, spanking, D/s, etc - and I was feeling discouraged because the conversation was just turning into argument after argument. We just couldn't seem to agree on anything.

I was feeling extra vulnerable, and extra emotional, and I really needed him to be extra hoh-y. I remember him saying something that pissed me off, and rather than talking to him respectfully, I just snapped. Yelled at him, told him I was done with the conversation, and proceeded to look out the window, not looking forward to this little mini vacation anymore.

A few minutes later, he said something about how I need to respect him, not talk to him the way I did, etc. It really got to me, and I started thinking about WHY I snapped at him, rather than trying to work it out. I realized that I knew I was going to get upset and start crying, so rather than letting myself cry and get it all out, I bottled it in and turned to anger instead. I apologized, and explained that to him, and he said if I need to cry .. then cry. Not to keep it in and snap at him instead, because it won't do any good.

He said he wanted to do a submissive Saturday, and that for the rest of the day I was to answer with Sir. Whether it be, yes Sir, no Sir, etc - I was to say Sir when he asked me a question. Every time I forgot, it was going to be 10 spanks with whatever implement he decided to use.

He said it would be a good lesson in respect and would hopefully start getting us back on the right track. Things were starting to look up, and I could feel myself becoming more submissive again.

We ended up having an absolutely amazing weekend. On the drive home, I told him that sometimes I just have these moments where I fall in love with him all over again, and this weekend was one of those times. I just felt so happy, so in love, and finally felt content with TTWD again.

At one point, we were waiting for the shuttle to take us to the mountain and a good amount of people were around us. I did something, I can't remember what, but he gave me 'the look.' The look didn't seem to stop me, so he discreetly grabbed hold of my upper arm, pulled me in close to him, and whispered "Behave," into my ear. I instantly turned bright red and stopped doing whatever it was I was doing!

Damn, Mr. Hohy husband is back!

I forgot to say Sir a few times throughout the weekend and on the drive home he let me know it would be taken care of.

"When I say it's time, I don't want any back talk. I want you over my knee, and I want you to submit."
"Yes, Sir."

We relaxed for a bit when we got home, and then he decided it was time for the spanking. He got out the strap, the rose paddle, and the tilt wand thing, and I knew he wasn't playing around.

I was supposed to only get 40 total, but didn't take the spanking quite as well as he liked, so he decided we were going to stop keeping count, and he was going to keep spanking until he decided I learned my lesson.

It wasn't very long, or even very hard, but it seemed to be what we both needed. I mean, I'll admit - I still feel like I need a long, hard, possibly even tears, type of session, but I know it will happen when it needs to.

When he was done, he said, "This really IS a great stress reliever for me. Another reason to do it more often."

Yup, my HOH is back .. and maybe even better than ever. ;)

OH and I wanted to mention something we ordered that I just got in the mail today! I don't know if you guys have ever heard of beauty boxes, like ipsy and birchbox - but basically there are these websites which send out monthly boxes with beauty supplies for a certain amount of money a month. Some are ten, some twenty, etc. Anyway, it's become my new obsession and when I was telling Colin about them, he asked if there was anything like that, but more geared towards adult toys.

I googled it, and sure enough, I came across something called The Fantasy Box. If you're interested, click here and check it out ----> The Fantasy Box.

Basically, it's a box that is delivered once a month, and it has some type of 'fantasy' inside. It comes with a questionnaire for each partner to fill out, and then one person is the leader, other is the follower. Obviously Colin will be the leader for us when we get our fantasy! There are cards for each person with directions on them, and things in the box to fulfill the fantasy on the card. It can be anything from a sweet massage, to a fun kinky kind of session. I'll include a picture of our first box that I just opened!

My first impression is overall a good one! I didn't read the instructions on the "Leader" card, because that's for Colin to read - and for me not to find out about until he gives me the instructions. ;) The instructions on my card (the follower card) tell me to put on the blindfold, get dressed (I'm assuming in that outfit) and wait wherever the leader tells me to wait. Sounds interesting! The little things in the picture that you can't quite make out, are a little vibrator thing, a massage candle, and some lube. I'm not a big fan of the lingerie - it's a weird style, but I'll be wearing it anyway for Colin. I have to say, it looks like SO much fun, and I'm really excited to try it out. Anyway, just thought I'd share the info for anyone who might be interested!

Another thing I'm super excited for - Colin got us tickets to go see the show "Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody," for this Friday night! I have no idea what to expect, but I'm hoping it's funny! I have a feeling it will be. :)

Can't wait to catch up on blogs! I'm sorry I haven't been around much - I had just been really down and took a break from the blogs for a bit. I really miss everyone, and can't wait to see how everyone is doing!


  1. Good to hear you HOH is back and let's hope he continues to take charge and train you in the submissive lifestyle.


    1. Thanks FD. He certainly is doing just that lately, and I have to say - I kinda love it. :)

  2. Thanks for the tip.
    Happy things seem to be working out for you.

  3. I'm glad things are getting back on track for the two if you. The fantasy box sounds like fun!

    1. Thanks so much Kim! It seems like a fun little idea! :)

  4. Wow there was a lot in this one post! Where to begin??? lol

    I loved the idea of having "Submissive Saturday" that sounds like
    such an easy but really great way to get back into a submissive
    mindset. Hmmm should I mention this to SM? Decisions decisions...

    I am so glad you had an amazing weekend skiing. I have never
    been skiing but I think I would like it if I wasn't so uncoordinated.
    There's no snow anywhere remotely near us though so maybe
    I will settle for stuffing my toes in the sand on the beach instead!
    We did that today :)

    Glad your HoH is IN again. That's such a mood lifter isn't it? It
    just makes the world right again.

    The fantasy box looks fun. Be sure to fill us in on how it goes.

    Most of all the Spank thing sounds really fun! I would love to
    go see one of those parodies and I bet SM would too. Please
    fill us in on that as well!

    sara :)

    1. Yesss, mention submissive saturdays to SM. Sometimes it's the last thing I want to do, but it's always exactly what I need to kind of pull me back in.

      If you guys decide to try it, you'll have to let me know how it goes! :)

  5. I love submissive saturday and the fantasy box! So glad you had a great weekend away!

    1. Thanks Renee! Submissive Saturday helps a lot .. and the fantasy box is such a fun little idea. :)

  6. Hey Kenzie :) happy to hear from you :)

    Wow me Hoh is back huh? Sounds like he knew how to do it and bring you back, wow my stomach did a little turn at him grabbing your arm and saying behave, nothing like an expression of hohiness to get us to listen :)

    Ok this fantasy box sounds really interesting, I'd love to hear what his instructions were, I agree that night dress is not mine either but the whole thing sounds like fun :)

    I totally get what you mean with needing a bigger breakthrough spanking, but it does sound like you're both on a good way, so happy for you.

    Ok this parady sounds like fun, you have to let us know how it went :)

    Hugs x

    1. Omg, when he did that, I turned bright red and just felt submissive in an INSTANT, lol.. it's crazy how well things like that work.

      I'll let you know the instructions when I find them out .. which should be soon. :)

      Thanks Missy!

  7. Hi Kenzie, I'm so glad you had such a wonderful weekend and that you are working towards getting back on track with your dynamic. My, it definitely sounds as though your HoH is back!

    The Fantasy box sounds like fun! I too would love to know what Colin's instructions are! Enjoy the show on Friday. Sounds like a lot of fun also. I'm intrigued to know what it is like.


    1. He sure is back. :) It's been nice.

      I think we might be trying out the box tonight, so when I find out the instructions, I'll be sure to share with you guys. :)

  8. Hi,

    I am glad Kenzie that you had a fun weekend.


  9. Hey Girlfriend... I have missed you. Now, the post was awesome and The Man was so excited about the "boxes". He has plans of getting on post haste... I am glad things are getting better for you guys...

    1. Missed you tooo! Lol Yayy, I hope you guys look into it, and if you order it, you'll have to let me know what you think! :)

  10. Wow! I don't even know what to say. So glad that things are back to where they should be and the spankings are back with the respect and the feeling of being taken care of. Might just have to check out this little fantasy box. You will have to let us know how it went.

    1. We haven't been able to try it yet, but I think we might be trying it out tonight. I will let you guys know for sure! :)

  11. So glad you guys are back on track! It is so tough to get back into the swing on things when you hit a big bump in the road... The fantasy box seems cool, we might have to check that one out :)

    xo - Tasha

    1. You should check out the fantasy box! It's such a fun thing. :) Thanks Tasha!

  12. It's great to see you again! :) {{{hugs}}} And I am so happy that you guys were able to keep working at this until it got worked out. I find I am much the same as you, Kenzie. I get hurt, and so I get angry to cover it up. I think it is a defense mechanism, and I'm glad he's encouraging you to let it go. :) I'm working on it too, and even though anger seems easier in the moment than tears, it is worth it in the end to have nothing to regret that I said or did in my anger. I hope you'll find some good in letting your tears out as well.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

    1. It really is a defense mechanism, and I hope I'm able to let it go and figure out other ways to deal with it. I think with his help, I'll be able to. :) Thanks a bunch EsMay. :)

  13. glad you are both finding your way and that you had a great week-end :-) Hugs

  14. "SPANK" is hilarious! Glad to see things are going great for you two! Have missed you very much, don't forget Dr. Seuss' bday is coming up just a friendly reminder LOL!

    1. AHH I can't believe I forgot Dr. Seuss' Bday! I will have to make up for that one for sure! :)

  15. Hey Kenzie...happy to hear things seem to be getting back on track for you and Colin!


  16. Glad you guys got back into the swing of things, and you are right, sometimes we overthink things, and you just need to relax a little. Sounds like you guys had a lovely weekend!

    1. Thanks Julia! The time to relax and just not worry about all of it, was much needed! :)